Have I Got News for You (1990– )

Piers Morgan: Self

Quotes 

• Piers Morgan : Is the answer jam?

  [no one laughs] 

  Angus Deayton : Not in so many words, no.

  Piers Morgan : I only said that because last week Eddie Izzard said that and you roared with laughter, as if it was hilarious. Just thought I'd say it.

  Ian Hislop : People like him.

• Ian Hislop : [in Missing Words round - "'What' kills hippo"]  Jam.

  [audience laughs] 

  Ian Hislop : You see, Piers?

  Piers Morgan : See, that's comedy.

  Angus Deayton : The answer is 'tennis ball'. The tragic tale of a two ton hippo who swallowed a tennis ball in Germany.

  Clive Anderson : [to Piers Morgan]  Surely you must have covered that in the Daily Mirror? That's exactly the sort of, page 5 story?

  Piers Morgan : What do you know about newspaper editing, Clive?

  Clive Anderson : About as much as you do!