Shared with you
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: [drunkenly] Come on you bastards! I'm open! I'm ready! I'm waiting for you! This is what you've all been waiting for! Come and get it! Fish wives. Footballers. You English dickhead! You can stick to your fish and chips! Go on, go and get cancer! Thousand pounds. Ten thousand pounds! Go on mate, cook him! You working class morons! Go and eat your own shit! Go on! Go on!
- [Natalie and Nicola ponder having children]
- Natalie: Well, I wouldn't fancy bringing one up on me own.
- Nicola: It's better to be on your own than be with a bastard.
- Natalie: Well, presumably you wouldn't *choose* a bastard in the first place if you had any sense!
- Nicola: All men are bastards!
- Natalie: *What*?
- Nicola: They're all potential rapists!
- Natalie: That's a bit sweeping!
- Nicola: All men have got the ability to rape.
- Natalie: Well they don't all do it, do they!
- Nicola: But they've got the ability; they've got the desire.
- Natalie: That's paranoid rubbish!
- Nicola: What d'you know about paranoia?
- Natalie: Well, not half as much as you do, I'll give you that.
- Patsy: [in a pub after a few beers] Far as I'm concerned, football died, the day Arsenal won the double.
- Andy: That's right, yeah.
- Patsy: What was they? Work horses.
- Andy: Boring buggers, ain't they.
- Patsy: Well the Spurs double team? They was artists.
- Andy: They was artists.
- Patsy: 21 quid a week they got. Can you imagine? What do they get today? Millions.
- Andy: And they got their back handers on top of that ain't they.
- Patsy: Poncing round the penalty area with their handbags.
- Andy: Prima donnas.
- Patsy: "Oh, he kicked a me, Ref."
- Andy: Brown, Baker, Henry,
- [both]
- Andy: Blanchflower
- Patsy: Yeah, Danny boy.
- Andy: Yeah.
- Patsy: He was the architect of the modern game, y'know.
- Andy: That's right, yeah.
- Patsy: Norman, Mackay, Jones, White, Smith, Allen,
- [both]
- Patsy: Dyson.
- Andy: Yeah, come on you Spurs.
- Patsy: John White, what a player, eh.
- Andy: Yeah.
- Patsy: I used to have a little picture of him on my wall, ringed in black.
- Patsy: Tragic. What a way to go.
- Andy: Struck by lightening.
- Patsy: On a golf course.
- Andy: What a waste, eh. You want another?
- Nicola's Lover: I want to see you nice.
- Nicola: Well what's nice? it's only a boring cliche.
- Nicola's Lover: No, nice. Nice. Show me a bit of civility, a bit of respect.
- Nicola: You don't show me no respect!
- Nicola's Lover: I'm trying to respect you now. Trying to treat you like a real person Instead of some fucking - shag bag.
- Nicola: Stop being antagonistic.
- Nicola's Lover: I'm not being antagonistic. I'm trying to have an intelligent conversation with you. Are you capable of that? Eh? I don't think you are, are you? Really. Bit vacant, aint ya? Bit of an air-head. Nothing going on. Bit dumb. Bit dizzy. Dimbo, bimbo. Dumb blondster, ain't ya? Eh, hello. Anyone at home? Hello? Hello? You're a fake.
- Nicola: I am intelligent.
- Nicola: You'll find out when you get to America.
- Natalie: I'm only going on a holiday.
- Nicola: So?
- Natalie: What? You think I'm going to get yanked off the plane at John F. Kennedy airport and be raped and pillaged do ya?
- Nicola: You've got to be on your guard.
- Natalie: Did you hear what I just said?
- Nicola: What?
- Natalie: Yanked. Get it?
- Nicola: What?
- Natalie: Yanked! America!
- Nicola: I'm not going to waste my life.
- Andy: No? What're you doing now then? Contributing a great deal aren't you sitting around on your arse all day.
- Nicola: Yeah, well I'm thinking about it.
- Andy: Oh yeah thinking about it that's the easy bit isn't it? Anyone can do that. It's doing it that's difficult.
- Wendy: If you smoked less and you ate more you wouldn't be sitting there looking like a skeleton.
- Nicola: It's better than looking like a beached whale.
- Wendy: Oh, thank you. Anyway your Dad likes something to grab hold of over the night.
- Nicola: What? Blubber?
- Wendy: No. Me little love handles. We got a set each ain't we, Andy?
- Nicola: Oh, you're disgusting!
- Wendy: Why didn't you tell me Aubrey was here? You knew I was sitting out the back.
- Nicola: No, I never.
- Wendy: Yes, you did.
- Nicola: Are you calling me a liar?
- Wendy: Yes I am calling you a liar.
- Nicola: I thought you had gone for a walk.
- Wendy: Don't be so stupid. I've never been for a walk in me life. Have I?
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: It's alright by me if they don't want to eat. They can bask in the atmosphere.
- Wendy: Oh, blimey, you're not going to make much profit that way Aubrey.
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: [singing] No, No regrets, No, No regret rien
- Wendy: [talking] Oh, yeah, that's what I remember, yeah.
- Nicola: She sang it in French!
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: Yeah, she was from France.
- Nicola: She was thin.
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: She was thin, she was French.
- Wendy: She's dead though, isn't she?
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: Yeah, she was a prostitute.
- Nicola: So!
- Natalie: Shut up.
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: The sparrow.
- Wendy: Yeah, the little sparrow, that's right, yeah.
- Patsy: I promise you Andy, you go down White Hart Lane on a Saturday for the home games, a man of your skills, a couple of hundred beef burgers, you'll make a fortune. I'm telling you. "Excuse me guvnor, I'll have 4 hamburgers, 3 egg burgers, a sausage roll and onion, a bacon egg and cheese roll, a tea, a bovril, and a large vodka." Sold to the man with the beard!
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: It's alright Andy, Wendy. Everything's hunky dory. Cool. I'm in complete control. If ever I see her again I'll stick a knife in her guts. I'll slice her face off, y'know.
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: To be totally honest, Andy, I think Wendy will be a natural, y'know. She's got such grace and charm.
- Wendy: Thank you, Aubrey.
- Andy: Excuse me are we talking about the same girl?
- Wendy: [laughs] Don't be rotten.
- Andy: Where's she going?
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: Flipping Prague!
- Wendy: Awww, that's not right.
- Andy: No, that's not on, mate.
- Wendy: No, sorry.
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: It's great, isn't it? You give someone a break, a chance to better themselves, an opportunity to enter into a brave new venture, and what do they do? Piss off to Poland!
- Wendy: Well, that's typical Aussie isn't it? Travelers.
- Andy: Students.
- Wendy: It's Czechoslovakia isn't it, Prague?
- Andy: Yeah, is it?
- Wendy: Now, listen, you're in trouble, right? And I'm helping you out. 'Cause that's what friends are for. That's right, isn't it Andy?
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: It's it's amazing!
- Andy: But you haven't even done bar work Wendy, let's be honest.
- Wendy: No, but I'm confident. I can have a go.
- Andy: Let's face it, have you ever been a waitress?
- Wendy: No.
- Andy: No.
- Wendy: But, I've been waiting on you all these years haven't I? So?
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: I achieved this effect by, eh, gently, easing, teasing and squeezing.
- Wendy: Oh don't be so dirty!
- [laughs]
- Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: I want this restaurant to be built on a one-to-one, mouth-to-mouth reputation, y'know.