The Witches (1990)
Mai Zetterling: Helga
Helga : Real witches are very cruel, and they have a highly developed sense of smell. A real witch could smell you across the street on a pitch-black night.
Luke : She couldn't smell me. I've just had a shower.
Helga : Oh yes, she could. The cleaner you are, the more a witch can smell you.
Luke : That doesn't make sense.
Helga : Oh, yes it does. A dirty child, it is the dirt she smells. A clean child, it is the child.
Luke : Wow. I'll never have a shower again, and I'll have you for an excuse.
Helga : Well, just not often. Only once a month is probably safe.
Luke : So a witch could smell me right now?
Helga : To me you smell of raspberries and cream. But to a witch, you would smell absolutely disgusting.
Luke : What kind of disgusting?
Helga : Like... dog's droppings.
Luke : I don't believe it.
Helga : You don't believe it? What's more, to a witch you would smell of FRESH dog's droppings.
Helga : When your father was a boy like you, and living with me here in Norway, I told him about witches too, so that he would always be aware. Now, the most important thing you should know about real witches is this - now listen very carefully! Real witches dress in ordinary clothes, and look very much like ordinary women. They live in ordinary houses, and they work in ordinary jobs.
Mr. Stringer : I'm sorry, madam, but I cannot permit mice in my hotel.
Helga : How dare you say that when your rotten hotel is full of rats anyway?
Mr. Stringer : Rats? There are no rats in this hotel!
Helga : I saw one this morning running along the corridor, into the kitchens.
Mr. Stringer : Madam, you only arrived in the hotel this afternoon.
Helga : [scoffs] Morning, afternoon, I saw a rat in your hotel, and if matters do not improve, I shall have to report you to the public health authorities.
Mr. Stringer : Look, madam, I'm not prepared...
Luke : The cakes in the lounge are nibbled around the edges, too. I can show you.
Helga : If you are not careful, the health people will order the whole hotel closed before everyone gets typhoid fever.
Mr. Stringer : You can't be serious, madam!
Helga : I have never been more serious in my life. Now - will you or will you not let my grandchild keep his hygienic and perfectly harmless pet mice?
[Helga stops Mr. Jenkins for eating the soup]
Helga : Don't touch it!
Mr. Jenkins : I told you she was a loony. She's an absolute nutter!
[She tooks the plate the spills the soup]
Mr. Jenkins : Look at my bloody soup! All that stuff about Bruno!
Helga : Bruno has been turned into...
Mr. Jenkins : He has NOT been turned into a...
[notices that Bruno is a mouse]
Bruno Jenkins : Yes, I have! Hello, dad!
[Mrs. Jenkins notices that her son is a mouse, screaming and faints]