The Brittas Empire (1991–1997)
Chris Barrie: Gordon Brittas, Brittas, Vlad
Photos
Quotes
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[repeated line]
Gordon Brittas : Eeeexcellent.
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Gordon Brittas : It is seven years to the day since the first member of the public walked through those doors.
Gavin Featherly : And you threw him out, Mr. Brittas!
Gordon Brittas : He was wearing unauthorised water wings, Gavin.
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[repeated line]
Gordon Brittas : I have a dream. A dream that one day...
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Gordon Brittas : Since I have been manager, I am proud to say there have only been twenty-three deaths. And not one of them was a staff member.
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Julie : Why can't we use the canteen?
Gordon Brittas : If you remember, Julie, the canteen was sealed by the police until after the inquest.
Gavin Featherly : But if there's food in there . . .
Laura Lancing : I spoke to one of the forensic scientist, Gavin. Believe me, you wouldn't want to touch it.
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Gordon Brittas : Every time I walk into a room, a fight seems to break out.
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Gordon Brittas : Don't worry, I'm dealing with it!
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Gordon Brittas : Now, Tim, if I could just have a word?
[takes Tim into his office]
Gordon Brittas : Now, that was a bit out of character this morning, wasn't it? It may just be my imagination, but I thought you were a bit "tetchy" in the lineup.
Tim Whistler : Oh, that. No, it's all sorted out.
Gordon Brittas : Meant to be doing something with you, was he, young Gavin?
Tim Whistler : ... yes. Sort of.
Gordon Brittas : And he went to the pub instead. Tim, life's too short to worry about things like that. If I had a pound for everyone who promised to meet me and never showed up, I'd be Paul Getty Jr! Timothy- it's human nature!
Tim Whistler : Really.
Gordon Brittas : I was unmarried once myself too, you know. Used to go to the pub with my mates, have a few drinks, a game of darts, a few more drinks, go for a takeaway, next thing you know, it's three in the morning and you wake up on the floor in some total strangers flat!
[Tim gets panicked and worried look on his face]
Gordon Brittas : But what does it matter, eh, Tim, boy?
[puts his hand on Tim's shoulder as he leaves the room]
Gordon Brittas : It's not as if you're married to the man, is it!
[sniggers]
Gordon Brittas : [Tim closes his eyes and leaves, absolutely horrified]
[Angie hands him a box of tissues and a mug of coffee]
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Gordon Brittas : Laura, how's the lorry driver?
Laura Lancing : Yeah, I gave him your message about staying, Mr. Brittas. He said he's rather take his chances in the snow.
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Gordon Brittas : I'm afraid Carole is having some sort of nervous collapse. She's to have counselling sessions with Mrs. Brittas.
Julie : Isn't that a bit like taking coals to Newcastle?
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Gordon Brittas : I want you all to have a good dream tonight and bring it in with you tomorrow.
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Gordon Brittas : You can't argue with a government department.
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Carole Parkinson : Why don't I get a sardine, Mr. Brittas?
Gordon Brittas : Carole, the points system takes into the account that some people are more valuable to the group than the others.
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Gordon Brittas : [speaking to the staff] Does anyone know a black person who could help us out? Come on, someone must! He's only got to stand in line for a few minutes...
[looks around]
Linda Perkin : [steps forward, enthusiastically] The Baptist Church has a gospel choir!
Gordon Brittas : We don't want to flood the place, Linda.
[points at Gavin, who is standing with Tim]
Gordon Brittas : Gavin, what about that chap I saw you with the other evening?
Gavin Featherly : I'm sorry?
Gordon Brittas : The chap in the pub on Tuesday.
[Tim turns to Gavin incredulously]
Gavin Featherly : Oh, I...
Tim Whistler : [accusingly] You said you were at your mother's on Tuesday!
Gavin Featherly : [to Brittas] I think you must have made a mistake!
Gordon Brittas : No, tall, good looking black chap.
Tim Whistler : Well, that's very nice, I must say!
[storms out]
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Gordon Brittas : "Semper, Omnibus, Facultas"! Don't you understand what that means?
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Gordon Brittas : [Brittas thinks Carole is putting on too much weight] Carole, could you come here a minute?
Laura Lancing : [seeing Carole come from behind the desk] I think Carole is expecting a baby, Mr. Brittas.
