The Brittas Empire (1991–1997)
Russell Porter: Tim
Photos
Quotes
-
Linda Perkin : You're going to die anyway if you get pneumonia.
Tim Whistler : Good. At least I'll die of something I'm not scared of.
-
Gavin Featherly : I've just seen Larry Whittaker. He says he's going to kill Brittas.
Tim Whistler : I've always liked Larry.
-
Gordon Brittas : Now, Tim, if I could just have a word?
[takes Tim into his office]
Gordon Brittas : Now, that was a bit out of character this morning, wasn't it? It may just be my imagination, but I thought you were a bit "tetchy" in the lineup.
Tim Whistler : Oh, that. No, it's all sorted out.
Gordon Brittas : Meant to be doing something with you, was he, young Gavin?
Tim Whistler : ... yes. Sort of.
Gordon Brittas : And he went to the pub instead. Tim, life's too short to worry about things like that. If I had a pound for everyone who promised to meet me and never showed up, I'd be Paul Getty Jr! Timothy- it's human nature!
Tim Whistler : Really.
Gordon Brittas : I was unmarried once myself too, you know. Used to go to the pub with my mates, have a few drinks, a game of darts, a few more drinks, go for a takeaway, next thing you know, it's three in the morning and you wake up on the floor in some total strangers flat!
[Tim gets panicked and worried look on his face]
Gordon Brittas : But what does it matter, eh, Tim, boy?
[puts his hand on Tim's shoulder as he leaves the room]
Gordon Brittas : It's not as if you're married to the man, is it!
[sniggers]
Gordon Brittas : [Tim closes his eyes and leaves, absolutely horrified]
[Angie hands him a box of tissues and a mug of coffee]
-
[repeated line]
Tim Whistler : We're going to die! We're all going to die!
-
Gordon Brittas : [speaking to the staff] Does anyone know a black person who could help us out? Come on, someone must! He's only got to stand in line for a few minutes...
[looks around]
Linda Perkin : [steps forward, enthusiastically] The Baptist Church has a gospel choir!
Gordon Brittas : We don't want to flood the place, Linda.
[points at Gavin, who is standing with Tim]
Gordon Brittas : Gavin, what about that chap I saw you with the other evening?
Gavin Featherly : I'm sorry?
Gordon Brittas : The chap in the pub on Tuesday.
[Tim turns to Gavin incredulously]
Gavin Featherly : Oh, I...
Tim Whistler : [accusingly] You said you were at your mother's on Tuesday!
Gavin Featherly : [to Brittas] I think you must have made a mistake!
Gordon Brittas : No, tall, good looking black chap.
Tim Whistler : Well, that's very nice, I must say!
[storms out]
