- Receptionist: Can I help you?
- Harold Kunkle: Yes! Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Life has given me lemons, and I'm going to make lemonade. I got a tiger by his tail and he's mean! I got a stiff upper lip and a tight ass.
- Receptionist: Uh-huh. Well what can I do for you?
- Harold Kunkle: [Singing to the song "looking Over a Four Leaf Clover"] I'm looking over, my dead dog Rover, the one I just hit with the mower! One leg is missing, the other is gone, the third one is splattered all over the lawn!