Carry on Columbus (1992)

Jim Dale: Christopher Columbus

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nina the Model : Well I'm off to Italy next week. Michelangelo wants to do me up on the ceiling.

  Christopher Columbus : Well you mind you hang onto something while you're up there!

• Christopher Columbus : [a slave presents the Chief and Columbus with cigars]  What do you make of it?

  Mordecai Mendoza : Some kind of vegetable? Looks like old dried cabbage.

  [Columbus takes a bite] 

  Mordecai Mendoza : What does it taste like?

  Christopher Columbus : Horse shit.

  Mordecai Mendoza : Is it cooked?

  Christopher Columbus : If it is they should shoot the cook.

  [the slave lights the Chief's cigar] 

  Christopher Columbus : Well I'll be damned! Look at that. They cook it while you're eating it.

  Mordecai Mendoza : So try it cooked.

  [the slave lights Columbus' cigar. He has a puff] 

  Mordecai Mendoza : What's it taste like now?

  Christopher Columbus : Still tastes like horse shit.