The Advocate (1993)
Ian Holm: Albertus
Photos
Quotes
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Albertius : In a world where nothing is truly reasonable, nothing is truly mad.
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Richard Courtois : [of the priest's privately-expressed skepticism about witchcraft] Would you say all that in court?
Albertius : Richard, I like it here; it's a very nice living. Having my balls burnt off in public might take some of the pleasure out of it.
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Richard Courtois : There must be priests in Hell.
Albertius : Can't move for them.
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Albertius : ...why, I myself saw the Bishop of Rheims pronounce the act of anathema against a swarm of locusts.
Richard Courtois : Really? How did they take it?
Albertius : Difficult to say with locusts.
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Albertius : Anyone who has read a book has been sent by the Almighty.
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Albertius : [things people say to him] "Father, is it a sin to shine a candle into a dying man's eyes?" He's dying! What does it matter, you might as well shove it up his arse.
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Albertius : They knew it was only a game.
Richard Courtois : Really? Or were one or two of them afraid you really meant it?
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Albertius : Jeannine said "Look to the boy".
Richard Courtois : I did that and all I found was a little heap of bones and another good citizen too scared to... Wrong...?
Albertius : Wrong boy.
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Albertius : [looking at women in the public baths] Ah, there are sweet beasts and smelly beasts... there's a sweet one.
Richard Courtois : I can't stop thinking about them.
Albertius : Well, the Good Lord sent them to try us, and by Heaven he knew what he was doing.
[ducks underwater to cool off]
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Albertius : [to Courtois, having spooked the local Constable] You see, it works...
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Richard Courtois : Is a pig big enough to hold a devil? How about a flea? You don't really believe what you've been saying here, do you?
Pincheon : This is monstrous!
Albertius : Oh I believe it, Maitre, every word.