The Sandlot (1993)
Mike Vitar: Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez
Photos
Quotes
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[the Sandlot Kids and their arch-rivals come face-to-face]
Phillips : It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Benny Rodriguez : Shut your mouth, Phillips!
Ham Porter : What'd you say, crap face?
Phillips : You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Ham Porter : Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
Sandlot Kids : Yeah!
Phillips : We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Ham Porter : Watch it, jerk!
Phillips : Shut up, idiot!
Ham Porter : Moron!
Phillips : Scab eater!
Ham Porter : Butt sniffer!
Phillips : Pus licker!
Ham Porter : Fart smeller!
Bertram : [sniffs] Ahh.
Phillips : You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
Ham Porter : You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Sandlot Kids : Yeah!
Phillips : You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
Ham Porter : You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!
[entire group stands in shocked silence and Tommy Timmons' smile turns to shock]
Phillips : [Shocked] What did you say?
Ham Porter : You heard me.
Phillips : Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Ham Porter : Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
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Smalls : Yeah, yeah but I was gonna bring it back.
Squints : But it was signed by Babe Ruth!
Smalls : Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she?
Ham Porter : WHAT? WHAT?
Kenny : The sultan of swat!
Bertram : The king of crash!
Timmy : The colossus of clout!
Tommy : The colossus of clout!
All : BABE RUTH!
Ham Porter : THE GREAT BAMBINO!
Smalls : [Panicked] Oh my god! You mean that's the same guy?
All : YES!
Benny Rodriguez : Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life.
Smalls : [Falls to the ground and clutches his stomach, groaning]
[Nauseated]
Smalls : I don't feel so good.
[Smalls is almost about to vomit]
All : [They grow concern seeing Smalls almost about to vomit, so everyone except for Squints who uses his glasses Yeah Yeah who uses his glove and Tommy who uses both his arms and Kenny who also uses his arms, fan him with their caps] Uh oh, fan him. Give him air, give him air.
Smalls : [Feeling less nauseous] We have to get that ball back.
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Sandlot Kids : [after Wendy Peffercorn pulls Squints from the pool] Squints! Come on Squints!
Ham Porter : Come on Squints. Squints!
Timmy : Come on, Squints, come on!
Scotty Smalls : [shouts] Come on, Squints. You can do it! Pull through, bud!
Benny Rodriguez : Come on, man, come on!
Yeah Yeah : Yeah yeah, he looks pretty crappy.
Tommy : Squints! Come on man!
Bertram : My God, he looks like a dead fish.
Sandlot Kids : [Squints opens his eyes and smiles] *What*?
Wendy Peffercorn : [Squints kisses Wendy]
[muffled scream]
Wendy Peffercorn : *Ugh!* *Little pervert!*
Timmy : Aww, man, he's in deep *shit!*
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Ham Porter : Benny, why'd you bring that kid?
Benny Rodriguez : Because he makes nine of us.
Yeah Yeah : Yeah yeah, so does my sister, but I didn't bring her along!
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Ham Porter : [mimicking Babe Ruth with a cigar in his mouth; can't understand him] Check this out. I'm the Great Bambino.
Sandlot Kids : What?
Ham Porter : [still can't understand him] I'm the Great Bambino!
Sandlot Kids : What?
Ham Porter : [takes cigar out of mouth] I'm the Great Bambino.
Sandlot Kids : Oh!
Smalls : Who's that?
Smalls : [narrating] I had no idea what they were talking about.
Ham Porter : What did he say?
Bertram : What? Were you born in a barn, man?
Yeah Yeah : Yeah yeah, what planet are you from?
Smalls : [narrating] But there was no *way* I could let them know.
Squints : You've never heard of the sultan of swat?
Kenny : The titan of terror.
Timmy : The colossus of clout!
Tommy : The colossus of clout!
Benny Rodriguez : The king of crash, man.
Smalls : [narrating] So, I lied.
Smalls : Oh! The Great Bambino. Of course. I thought you said the great Bambi.
Ham Porter : That wimpy deer?
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Benny Rodriguez : [referring to the chewed-up baseball] That's really nice of you, but that ball really is signed by Babe Ruth.
Mr. Mertle : So's this one... with the rest of the 1927 Yankees.
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Benny Rodriguez : Man, you think too much! I bet you get straight A's and shit!
Scotty Smalls : No, I got a B once. Well, actually it was an A minus but it should have been a B.
Benny Rodriguez : Man, this is baseball, you gotta stop thinking! Just have fun. If you were having fun, you would have caught that ball!
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Benny Rodriguez : Vote then! Anybody who wants to be a can't-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama's bra, raise your hand.
[the boys raise their hands in agreement]
Benny Rodriguez : Ok fine fine! Be like that! So what do you want to do?
Yeah Yeah : [laughs] Oh! Oh!
Sandlot Kids : [Except for Smalls and Benny] Scam pool honeys!
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Benny Rodriguez : Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking. Just have fun. I mean, if you were having fun you would've caught that ball. You ever have a paper route?
Smalls : I helped a guy once.
Benny Rodriguez : Okay, well chuck it like you throw paper. When your arm gets here, just let go. Just let go, it's that easy.
[starts to jog away]
Smalls : How do I catch it?
Benny Rodriguez : Just stand out there and stick your glove out in the air. I'll take care of it.
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Benny Rodriguez : Where you guys been? We've been waiting here forever, already!
Yeah Yeah : Ah, Squints was pervin' a dish.
Squints : Shut up! I wasn't.
Yeah Yeah : Yeah, yeah, you were! Your tongue was hanging out of your head! And you were swooning!
[Mocking what Squints was doing]
Yeah Yeah : Oh Wendy Peffercorn, my darling lover girl!
[laughs]
Squints : I said shut up! I got a lot of things on my mind!
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Squints : The kid is a L7 weenie.
Yeah Yeah : Yeah, yeah - Oscar Meyer even. Footlong, dodger dog, a weenie!
All : Ohhh haha
Benny Rodriguez : What are you laughing at Yeah Yeah? You run like a duck!
Yeah Yeah : 'Kay 'kay, but I'm... I'm...
Benny Rodriguez : Part of the game right?
Yeah Yeah : Mmm... Yeah?
Benny Rodriguez : Now how come he don't get to be?
Bertram : He's a geek, man
All : He can't catch.
Benny Rodriguez : [looks back at Smalls]
[Angrily to the others]
Benny Rodriguez : Man, base up you blockheads.
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Benny Rodriguez : [about Smalls' hat] Got a fireplace?
Scotty Smalls : Yeah.
Benny Rodriguez : Throw that in there, man.
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Benny Rodriguez : [watching Wendy Peffercorn on the lifeguard chair putting on suntan lotion] Oh, man!
Yeah Yeah : Yeah, yeah. Too cruel.
Timmy : She don't know what she's doin'.
Tommy : She don't know what she's doin'.
Benny Rodriguez : Yeah, she does. She knows exactly what she's doin'.
Squints : I've swum here every summer in my adult life. And every summer, there she is. Lotion. Oilin'. Oilin'! Lotion. Smiling. Smiling! I can't take this no more! Move!
