Heavyweights (1995)
Aaron Schwartz: Gerald 'Gerry' Garner
Photos
Quotes
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Gerry : [writing a letter] Dear Grandma... someone once said, "War is hell." They've never been to fat camp. I knew the food would be bad...
[shows a revolting-looking lunch being passed out]
Gerry : ... but even worse...
[shows Lars stabbing the Blob with a spear]
Gerry : ... today he killed the Blob.
Gerry : [goes to the go-kart track, closed and with people putting the karts in a pile] As for the go-karts, well... may they rest in pieces. I'm writing you because nobody else seemed to care.
Maury Garner : [on the phone] I did not send you to 'go-kart' camp!
Tony Perkis : [on the PA] Attention campers, lunch has been cancelled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it...
Gerry : Tony Perkis tries to lead by example...
Tony Perkis : [shows Tony on a bed of nails, and two guys placing an ice block on his stomach] This is the 18th level of the PerkiSystem. You'll all be doing this by Labor Day! All right, do it to it, Lars!
Lars : [standing by with a large hammer at the block] It's my honor, Tony.
[Lars breaks the ice block while the campers freak out. Tony is unharmed]
Gerry : ...but we're afraid to follow.
Tony Perkis : [nighttime, the campers are around a large fire along with Tony] I know each and every one of you - because I WAS you!
Gerry : Once a day, the kids from Camp MVP, drive by and make fun of us.
MVP camper : [shows the MVP counselor and two campers driving by in a motor boat]
[Into a megaphone]
MVP camper : You STINK! You STINK! You STINK! You STINK! HA ha ha ha ha ha ha!
[Gerry and Roy are ducked down in the water]
Gerry : At night...
[shows some more MVP campers at the dock carrying cans of paint]
Gerry : ... they vandalize our camp.
[Pat is scrubbing it all off]
Gerry : [looks at Josh's empty bed and continues] At least Josh got out... where there's food. We have to resort... to more desperate measures.
[Shows the campers chasing cows and shouting]
Gerry : Tony's arranged a dance with the girls' camp... so he can humiliate us into losing weight. Pray for me, Grandma. Love, Gerry.
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Tony Perkis : [first time seen] Can you smell it? There's a life force in here tonight. Do you feel it? Hmm? I look around this room, and I see potential.
[to Gerry]
Tony Perkis : I see the future chairman of a Fortune 500 company.
[to Roy]
Tony Perkis : I see a famous rap artist.
[to Nicholas]
Tony Perkis : I see the president of the United States of America.
Gerry : He's from England!
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Gerry : [to Pat about Tony] Let's go get everybody and kick his ass!
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Cody : Sam, did you hear about Josh?
Chef : Sorry to hear about your little friend, Josh.
Phillip Grubenov : Did you hear? I found out the truth about Josh.
Sam : I heard that they kicked him out and his parents were so mad that they wouldn't let him come home.
Cody : They left him at a bus stop all alone at midnight.
Chef : He's uh... well, he's dead.
Phillip Grubenov : He pulled a knife on Tony, and now they have him locked up in a juvenile delinquent center.
Sam : Now he's living in a park in New York with a guy who has no legs.
Gerry : No way!
Sam : I'm just telling you what I heard.
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Roy : Headed to fat camp?
Gerry : No... why do you say that?
Roy : 'Cause you're fat. That your dad?
Gerry : No... w-why do you say that?
Roy : 'Cause he's fat too!
Gerry : Well, so are you.
Roy : I know, that's why I'm going to fat camp. I'm Roy.
Gerry : I'm Gerry. Yeah, I guess I am going.
Roy : I knew it! And that's your dad too, right?
Gerry : Hell no!
Roy : Well you're gonna love camp, man. Camp is awesome. Plus, nobody picks on you because YOU'RE not the fat kid. EVERYBODY'S the fat kid. Just stick with me, Gerry, because I'm the man!
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Gerry : It's a fat camp! Are you crazy? No way! I'm not going to camp with a bunch of fat loads!
Mrs. Garner : Gerry!
Roger Johnson : Now that's not kind, Gerry.
Maury Garner : We're doing this for your own good. We gotta nip this thing in the bud.
Gerry : I'm fine. This is a joke right?
[to his dad]
Gerry : You're fatter than I am, why don't you go to the camp?
Mrs. Garner : You show your father some respect.
Maury Garner : First I think we should have a little pow-wow, and then we will call you with our decision.
Gerry : I'll give you my decision right now. I'm not going.
[Cut to a jetliner taking off]
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Tim : [sees the kids have locked Tony up] Oh good God!
Pat Finley : This is insane!
Julie : This is great!
Gerry : So, what was your guys' plan?
Pat Finley : What do you guys think you're doing?
Gerry : Taking over the camp.
Tim : Guys, you can't kidnap the owner of a camp! They give people the *chair* for things like this.
Gerry : It was self-defense, you have to believe us.
Julie : I believe you.
Roy : Pat, you know what? He snapped!
Josh : He was going to make us climb a thousand-foot mountain!
[all the campers start talking at once about Tony's insane antics]
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Gerry : Who's this?
Roger Johnson : Hi, Gerry. "Roger Johnson." Islander's fan, huh? Team of the future, I'd say.
Gerry : Uh, yeah. Whatever, I'm out of here.
Maury Garner : Hold those horses, cowboy. Mr. Johnson is your guest, and he's here to talk to you about a very special summer camp.
Roger Johnson : A camp designed just for you, Gerry.
Gerry : Summer Camp? No way. I have plans for the summer. I'm gonna hang out!
Mrs. Garner : Come on, Honey. He's got a videotape for us to watch. Why don't we just take a little peek?
Gerry : Why don't we not?
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Gerry : [sees the players from Camp MVP arriving for baseball] I'm not so good at sports.
Phillip Grubenov : Oh yeah right, and I'm Dionne Sanders.
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Gerry : [narrating letter to his grandma] We can do anything. Even take on Camp MVP in the Apache Relay, and we can win. I think.
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Pat Finley : [pushing Gerry around the track in a dismantled go-kart] How do you do on your jumps?
Gerry : [in awe] These things jump?
Pat Finley : Jump? They FLY, Gerry, they FLY!
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Gerry : Hey Pat, thanks for the best damn summer of my life!
Pat Finley : Same here, big guy!
[hugs Gerry]
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Pat Finley : Gerry, I'm just so tired of being the fat guy.
Gerald 'Gerry' Garner : I know, Pat, but you don't want to be those guys. They're jerks, forget them.
[stands up and hollers over to Camp MVP]
Gerald 'Gerry' Garner : FORGET YOU!
Pat Finley : [stands up and yells] Yeah, YOU CAN KEEP YOUR WASHBOARD STOMACHS, AND YOUR OILY MUSCLES, I DON'T *WANT* THEM!
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Maury Garner : [on Parents Day] Big guy, look at you, look at you... you look... the same.
Gerald 'Gerry' Garner : Well, I feel better.
Mrs. Maury Garner : [hugs Gerry] Oh well, that's important too!
Maury Garner : So?
Gerald 'Gerry' Garner : Oh! Follow me.
Maury Garner : [under his breath] He hasn't lost a pound.
Mrs. Maury Garner : Oh, Maury.
