- Indiana Jones: Where do I come in?
- Carl Laemmle: You don't come in. You go out.
- Indiana Jones: Go out, where?
- Carl Laemmle: To Hollywood. As my personal representative. I want you to get out there and take charge. Tell that lunatic Von Stroheim he finishes the picture in ten days, or else you pull the plugs.
- Indiana Jones: Excuse me, sir, do you know Universal Studios?
- Cabbie: The funny farm? Yeah, who doesn't!
- Erich Von Stroheim: Tell Mr. Laemmle only Von Stroheim decides to fade away Von Stroheim picture. Not some stupid, ignorant, pathetic, imbecile errand boy.
- [turns to his crew]
- Erich Von Stroheim: Places now. We begin.
- Indiana Jones: Listen, I'm getting tired of horsing around.
- Erich Von Stroheim: Von Stroheim never horses around.
- Claire Lieberman: The day I lose Tony is the day I lose my sense of humor. If I lose that I may as well die.
- Indiana Jones: Who the heck is Prince Massimo?
- Irving Thalberg: A real Italian prince Von Stroheim brought in specially.
- Claire Lieberman: Von loves his accent.
- Indiana Jones: Loves his accent, but, but, but, but there's no sound! These are silent pictures, send him back!
- John Ford: Indy? Where'd you get a name like that, from your dog?
- Indiana Jones: Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did.
- John Ford: Well, I suppose it's as good a name as Ford.
- Kitty: Talk is cheap in this business, kid.
- Indiana Jones: Yeah, maybe you're right.
- Kitty: Of course I'm right. Couple of years you'll be digging up some Egyptian Pharaoh's tomb and you won't even be thinking about her.
- Edwin: [laughs] I've never seen run so fast as when you saw that snake
- Indiana Jones: I hate snakes.
- Edwin: What are you afraid of?
- Indiana Jones: It's a long story.
- Claire Lieberman: Do you always write like this?
- Indiana Jones: What do you mean?
- Claire Lieberman: [sighs before starting to read his letter] No one can stop me loving you, Claire, but I'm just not the right man for you. You need someone steady, reliable and smart. Like old Tony. I nearly vomited over my waffles when I read this.
- Claire Lieberman: Are you sure you don't want to stay, Indy?
- Indiana Jones: [walking with crutches] I think I'll stick to archeology. Safer.