Bushwhacked (1995)

Daniel Stern: Max Grabelski

Photos 

Quotes 

• [on the phone] 

  Marty : Grabelski! What the hell's going on? Some guy on TV said you killed somebody!

  Max : I know, but it's not true. I was set up. I gotta know if there's another package for Timberline Inc., to Reinhart Bragdon.

  Marty : What the hell's Reinhart Bragdon got to do with anything?

  Max : Because that's the guy I killed!

  Marty : Oh, so you did kill somebody.

  Max : No, I told you I was framed!

• Fishman : Sir, would it be ok if we called you Spider?

  Max : Why the h - - would you wanna call me that?

  Gordy : Because it's your nick name.

  Max : Well fine then. Call me Spider!

  Fishman : Spider. Spider. Spider!

  Max : WHAT?

  Fishman : How come your nick name's Spider?

  Max : Because I once killed a kid who called me Spider, one time too many!

  Fishman : Yeah, but how could he call you Spider one time too many if your nick name wasn't already Spider?

• [scouts singing] 

  Max : Alright! Knock it off! What is that? We run and dance and sing and play?

  Gordy : My mom kinda wrote the words.

  Max : Well they suck! Okay?

• Fishman : Well guys, we gotta start a fire. Better start looking for pinecones.

  Max : Pinecones?

  Fishman : It says in the manual, whenever your camp is surrounded by green wood, always use pinecones to start your fire.

  Max : If the manual told you to stick your wiener in a light-socket, would you do it?

• Max : Two packs of Marlboro's, some snowballs and a jumbo coke.

• Max : Watcha making?

  Gordy : It's a crystal-dialed receiver. You know what that is, right?

  Max : Yeah, of course I do. That is a beauty.

  Gordy : That's the toolbox.

• [Boys are peeing off of a ledge] 

  Max : Shake your lizards, let 'em drain. Move your hips and...

  Everyone : Spell your name!

  Max : Send it straight, send it hard. Now a sword fight, go...

  Everyone : On guard!

  Max : Eat your veggies, eat your starches. Lean back boys...

  Everyone : Golden arches!

  Max : Alright! Now flip them and zip them and let's get going!

• Max : Let me tell you something, honey. There's nothing wrong with being afraid.

  Fishman : Spider, I'm afraid, too.

  Max : Shut up, you gutless worm! I'm talkin' to her!

• Max : Now you are going to pretend to be me.

  Jack Erickson : Give yourself up boy.

  Max : Gimme that glue!

  Jack Erickson : You still have a chance to be a fine young scout!

  Max : Where is that glue?

  Jack Erickson : Top pocket.

  Max : Put your palms up.

  [spits off the top of the glue and spreads glue on the wheel] 

  Max : Now grab hold of the wheel.

  Jack Erickson : Are you nuts?

  Max : I said grab the wheel. Come on, I have a gun for Christ sake!

  Jack Erickson : You're going to pay for this mister

  Max : [spreads glue on top of the wheel]  Now put your chin there.

  Jack Erickson : You know this stuff is permanent.

  Max : Do it!

  Jack Erickson : Ohh sh... Hey! I can't drive like this!

  Max : Keep heading south and don't stop driving until you get to Mexico and I'm going to be right behind you the whole time.

  [removes the rear view mirror] 

  Max : Don't try any funny and I'll blow your butt off, got it?

  Jack Erickson : Yeah I got it, keep driving, no funny stuff, blow butt off.

  Max : [hesitates then answers]  Right!

• Max : [being stopped by a group of senior citizens walking across with mountain bikes]  What is this, a parade?

  [honks] 

  Max : Come on! Would you move your wrinkled asses? I'm in a hurry here!

  [old man laughs and waves at him, mocking wave and laugh back] 

  Max : [laughs]  I'm gonna run you over!

• Max : [walks out of a tobacco station and reads the note on the car window]  I am an inconsiderate person?

  [Jack comes out of the door] 

  Max : Hey, Sgt. Doofus, did you paste that note onto my window?

  Jack Erickson : That's right, cupcake!

• [Gordy's hanging from a ledge] 

  Max : Hey kid, how's it hanging? Alright, Gordy, I'm coming down to get you.

  Gordy : No! You don't know what you're doing!

  Max : Of course I do! I'm the Lizard! Remember?

  Gordy : You mean the Spider?

  Max : Right.

• Max Grabelski : What did you call me?

  Milton Fishman : Uh, I called you, Polinski. I had a Dr. Polinski once. I don't know why but you sorta remind me of him.

  Max Grabelski : No... . you called me Grabelski. How did you know my name?

  Max Grabelski : How did you know my name? I want some answers!

• Kid in Car : [after Max steals a lady's blue Volvo car to get to Devils Peak]  Hey, mister.

  Max : [turns around]  Huh?

  Kid in Car : [in the back seat with a banana]  I gotta make a dookie.

  [Max gives the kid a very disgusted look] 

  Kid in Car : I gotta make a dookie!

• Max : [Having a difficult time trying to untie Mrs. Patterson who is roped to a chair]  So, it's not a figure-eight, it's not a butterfly, and it's not a fisherman's.

  Reinhart Bragdon : It's a clove hitch.

  Max : Ah. Thank you.

  [Realizes Bragdon is behind them and panics] 

  Reinhart Bragdon : [Aiming a pistol at Max]  I learned it in the Scouts.

• [Palmer shoves Max towards a helicopter at gunpoint] 

  Max : What is with you and the pushing? I want to speak to your superior! Is that him?

  [Bragdon gets out of the helicopter and faces Max and Palmer] 

  Max : Mr. Bragdon? Mr. Bragdon! You're alive!

  [turns to Palmer] 

  Max : Hey, he's alive!

  Reinhart Bragdon : Hello, Maxwell.

  Max : Listen, it's over.

  [points at Palmer] 

  Max : This guy is an FBI agent. You gotta give yourself up! So what? So the plan blew up in your face! The important thing is, you have your health.

  [notices Bragdon's smile] 

  Max : And... your teeth.

  [realising] 

  Max : Wait a minute. Your teeth? I thought they found your teeth in the fire.

  Reinhart Bragdon : Yes, it was a bit inconvenient having them all pulled, but at a million dollars a tooth...

  [smiles] 

  Reinhart Bragdon : . I think it was well worth it.

  Max : Huh?

  Reinhart Bragdon : Kill him.

  Max : Kill him?

  [points at Palmer] 

  Max : I can't kill *him*! He's just doing his job!

  Reinhart Bragdon : [chuckling]  No, no, Maxwell, not him.

  [coldly] 

  Reinhart Bragdon : You.

  Max : Me?

  [turns to face Palmer, who has his gun aimed between Max's eyes] 

  Max : Wait a minute.

  [faces Bragdon] 

  Max : You guys are in this together?

  [points at Palmer] 

  Max : He's in on this?

  [Bragdon nods; Max faces Palmer; points at Bragdon] 

  Max : And you were with him?

  [Palmer nods] 

  Max : Ooh!

  Reinhart Bragdon : [to Palmer]  And when you're done with him, make sure you kill the kids.

  Max : [horrified]  The kids?

  Agent Palmer : [shoves Max away]  Come on, move it!