Scream (1996)
Matthew Lillard: Stuart
Photos
Quotes
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Stu : Did you really call the police?
Sidney Prescott : You bet your sorry ass I did.
Stu : [starting to cry] My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!
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Randy : There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.
[crowd boos]
Randy : BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.
[crowd cheers and raises their bottles]
Randy : The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
Stu : I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?
Randy : Yeah, sure.
Stu : I'll be right back.
[crowd cheers]
Randy : See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
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Stu : Shit...
Billy : What?
Stu : Oh, shit.
Billy : [They go into the kitchen to find Sidney and Mr. Prescott gone] Where are they? Where are they?
Stu : I don't know, Billy, but I'm hurtin', man!
[the phone rings]
Stu : Should I let the machine get it?
Billy : [answers it] Hello?
Sidney Prescott : Are you alone in the house?
Billy : Bitch! You bitch, where the fuck are you?
Sidney Prescott : Not so fast, we're going to play a little game. It's called: Guess who just called the police and reported your sorry motherfucking ass!
[Stu is slowly collapsing to the floor]
Billy : Find her, you dipshit! Get up!
Stu : I can't, Billy. You already cut me too deep. I think I'm dying here, man!
[Billy gives Stu the phone]
Billy : [whispers] Talk to her. Talk to her.
Stu : Hello?
Sidney Prescott : Ah, Stu, Stu, Stu... What's your motive? Billy's got one. The police are on their way. What are you going to tell them?
Stu : Peer pressure. I'm far too sensitive.
[Billy takes the phone back]
Billy : I'm going to rip you up, bitch, just like your fucking mother!
Sidney Prescott : You've gotta find me first, you pansy-ass momma's boy!
Billy : Fuck!
[He accidentally hits Stu with the phone]
Stu : Ow! You fuckin' hit me with the phone, dick!
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Stu : Liver alone!
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Sidney Prescott : Why? Why did you kill my mother?
Billy : Why? WHY! You hear that, Stu? I think she wants a motive.
[Stu Chortles]
Billy : Well, I don't really believe in motives, Sid. I mean did Norman Bates have a motive?
Stu : No.
Billy : Did we ever find out why Hannibal Lecter like to eat people? DON'T THINK SO! See, it's a lot more scarier when there's no motive, Sid. We did your Mom a favour, Sid. That woman was a slut-bag whore who flashed her shit all over town like she was Sharon Stone or somethin'.
Stu : Yeah, we put her out of her misery, 'cause let's face Sidney, your mother was no Sharon Stone, hmm?
Billy : Is that motive enough for you? How about this? Your slut mother was fucking my father, and she's the reason my mom moved out and abandoned me.
[Sid looks astonished]
Billy : How's that for a motive? Maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. It certainly fucked you up. It made you have sex with a psychopath.
Stu : That's right. You gave it up. Now, you're no longer a virgin. You're not a virgin. Now you got to die. Those are the rules.
Billy : So, this game is like a scary movie, Sid. How do you think it's going to end?
Stu : Oh, this is the greatest fun. You're going to love this. We got a surprise for you, Sidney. Yeah, you're going to love this one. It's a scream, baby. Hold a second, be right back.
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Stu : [speaking into voicebox] Surprise, Sidney.
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Sidney Prescott : How do you - gut someone?
Stu : You take a knife and you slit 'em from groin to sternum.
Billy : Hey. It's called tact, you fuck-rag.
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Stu : Because there's no way a girl could have killed them.
Tatum : That is so sexist. The killer could easily be female. Basic Instinct.
Randy : That was an ice pick. Not exactly the same thing.
Stu : Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. Takes a man to do something like that.
Tatum : Or a man's mentality.
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Stu : I will totally protect you. Yo, I am so buff, I got you covered, girl.
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Stu : I didn't kill anybody.
Billy : Nobody said you did.
Stu : Thanks, buddy!
Randy : Besides... "Takes a MAN to do something like that!"
Stu : I ought to gut your ass in a second, kid.
Randy : [using Jerry Lewis' voice] Tell me something. Did you really put her liver in the mailbox? Because I heard they found her liver in the mailbox next to her spleen and her pancreas.
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[a student dressed as the Ghostface killer is running down the halls screaming]
Sidney Prescott : Why are they doing this?
Stu : Look at this place, it's like Christmas!
Tatum : [to Stu] Stupidity leak!
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[Sidney and Stu fight near the television, which shows the film "Halloween"]
Stu : [smiles viciously] I always had a thing for ya, Sid!
[Sidney bites Stu's hand]
Stu : [screams painfully] Ohhhhh, God! Bitch!
[Stu lets go of Sidney. Sidney grabs a vase and breaks it on Stu's head. While he is stunned, Sidney stands and rushes to the television]
Sidney Prescott : In your dreams!
[Sidney shoves the television on Stu's head. The last thing he sees is Jamie Lee Curtis on the screen. The television breaks and Stu is electrocuted to death]
