The Last Time I Committed Suicide (1997) Poster

Thomas Jane: Neal Cassady

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Quotes 

  • Neal Cassady : One startled look and I knew, I was right back where I'd started.

  • Neal Cassady : The time is now and now is all we have.

  • Neal Cassady : Soon after returning from the New Mexico state reformatory after doing 11 months and 10 days of hard labour you know the song, I uh, I had the rare luck to meet a 16 year old High School beauty. This is October 1945 if you're keeping score. Her name was Mary Jane Greenway; "Cherry Mary", because she lived on cherry street. The other reason for her fruitful name, well... didn't last long.

    [cuts to Neal and Mary having sex] 

  • Neal Cassady : Jerry, you ever wake up in the middle of the night because the... the things that you see in your dreams are things you know nothing about? When I close my eyes I see fences, I see white picket fences, I see green, green grass and things that I honestly have never touched, have never smelled, except for... when I go to this place in my sleep.

  • Neal Cassady : Yeah, well, sometimes... good fortune follows those who least deserve it.

  • Neal Cassady : My role in all this was to make her feel better. Better than what?

  • Joan : Thanks for being here.

    Neal Cassady : Where else was I gonna go? Got all I need right here.

  • Neal Cassady : You should have seen all you brought down. Sirens, ambulances, doctors, nurses, butchers, bakers. Some big fear you brought down Miss Joan.

  • Neal Cassady : She still thinks you're a creep, man.

    Harry : It doesn't matter, it doesn't even matter one bit. Sure, she's got good taste. I am a creep. Hell, you know that, I know that, it's good that she knows that. Get things out in the open, start with honesty, that's what my old man said before he took off.

  • Harry : Cherry Mary's liable to strut through that door and blow your happily ever after all to hell before you even get a taste of it. You want it, don't you?

    Neal Cassady : What?

    Harry : The wild stuff. You talk a good game about the picket fences and the honey at home, but when the seven deadly sins start lining up at your door step and you see that little lady lust all dressed in black.

    Neal Cassady : What're you? The devil?

    Harry : It's in your eyes, brother. It's in your soul. You are meant to roam the plains live off the fat of the land. Or the lamb. This other crap. It's just dreamin'.

    Neal Cassady : Screw you, man.

    Harry : I'm just lookin' and reportin' what I see.

  • Neal Cassady : Many an incident in this man's young life seems to be centered around the toilet. I'm sure there's some deep and profound logic to all that. Currently too full to make any rhyme of it.

  • Neal Cassady : Save the maiden. Swim the moat. Draw the drawbridge.

  • Neal Cassady : Well, the world bein' what it is and people bein' who they are... well. As for me... what is one to say about what he's done. Call it cowardice. Fear. Envy. I never again went back to the hospital. Each day I lacerated myself thinking' on her but I couldn't go back.

  • Neal Cassady : Do you make this up as you go?

    Harry : It's a rule, Neal.

    Neal Cassady : There'll be no anarchy on this felt.

  • Neal Cassady : New time in this great land o' ours.

  • Neal Cassady : The trees were down.The toys were already broken. And Christmas cheer had given way to winter blahs before the Captain of Dicks admitted that he knew I was clear all along.

  • Harry : Is that not what we needed? Movement! The only thing that keeps us on this Earth! Did you know that, girls? They ever teach you that in, uh, astronomy or physics or geology? Did they teach you that the only thing that's keeping us from flying off into nowhere is spinning.

    Neal Cassady : That's right, man. Spinning like tops. We're spun out! We have absolutely nothing to worry about. Yeah! The time is now, and now is all we have.

  • Neal Cassady : So... all this in explanation of why Joan and I didn't live happily-ever-after. It's very simple, really. We were given no chance. Or perhaps we were given every chance and took none. I guess I could've waited. Probably, I should've waited. But, as you know this was not the last time I committed suicide. And so love goes. And so life goes. And so I go. You carry on, my brother.

  • Neal Cassady : Like a mirage. This is an oasis.

  • Neal Cassady : I'm taking inventory of productivity. Assessing our output. Calculatin' our ever-looming, rubbery demise.

    Jerry : What are you on, son?

    Neal Cassady : Currently I'm on fifty-seven, but my guess is there'll be thousands.

    Jerry : Are you high?

    Jerry : Relatively. I can always get higher.

  • Neal Cassady : I mean, I could start fresh. I could get a job there. Vanquish myself of the ghosts. Build my own little somethin'.

  • Harry : You have re-found your lost love. And will soon be starting a job, a day job. Thus, uh, living your dream life that you've been waxing on about.

    Neal Cassady : Woody wagon, two-car garage... the whole deal.

    Harry : Holy shit.

    Neal Cassady : Yeah.

    Harry : This is good. This is great. This is harmonious. Coincidental. Symbiotic. Freaky.

  • Neal Cassady : If you're dying with some guy holding a knife to your throat, you might have to wait awhile for the men in blue but when Frau Bitch calls- the boys jump.

  • Neal Cassady : I see no greatness in myself. Simple-minded, child-like, and insipid kind of vaudeville feeling. Moronic kind of awkward feeling, adolescent.

  • Neal Cassady : When I was baptized at the age of ten in 1936. The last time I saw the good Father I was an altar boy at Holy Ghost Church engrossed in the lives of the Saints and determined to become a priest or Christian brother. Well that was more than six years ago before I started my wander down the pleasanter path of evil.

  • Neal Cassady : By the time I swore off such soul-thrilling pleasures nearly a decade later, I had illegally in my possession about five hundred cars whether taken just for the moment and to be returned to their owner later or whether taken for the purpose of so altering it's appearance as to keep it for several weeks. Wow, man, that was all one sentence.

  • Neal Cassady : It's a metaphor, man. I was just saying every man, every woman, for that matter wants a person to love, who loves them and a roof over their head when it rains.

    Harry : Of course, but what does that have to do with the fenced in, happily ever after. Look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I know you, Cassady couldn't live that. That'd be death for you. You'd atrophy and die.

  • Neal Cassady : 'Tis the season to be, but I wasn't. I was doing anything I could to keep the vision deep in the dream.

  • Neal Cassady : Like the world hasn't dumped all their stink on him, yet.

See also

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