Shooting Fish (1997)

Stuart Townsend: Jez

Photos 

Quotes 

• [inside the night-club] 

  Dylan : [seductively]  I want to pleasure you with my tongue.

  [Georgie walks away in disgust. She sees Jez who has been waiting for her outside the night-club, dressed in his shorts after escaping from his "quick-release trousers"] 

  Georgie : Hello.

  Jez : Hi.

  Georgie : This is a surprise.

  Jez : Yeah, isn't it.

  Georgie : What are you doing here? Was it Scouts tonight?

  Jez : No, no. I was just passing. Are you OK?

  Georgie : [unconvincingly]  Yeah.

  Jez : Did he try to "pleasure you with his tongue"?

  Georgie : Is it that obvious?

  Jez : It's kind of a compulsion with him. He has to exchange fluids with everyone he meets. That's why we never have pets.

• Jez : Dylan's completely trustworthy. He's just a bit unreliable in some areas.

• Dylan : Now *that* is a thing of beauty.

  Jez : Who you're flirting with.

  Dylan : You fallen?

  Jez : No I haven't.

  Dylan : Jez, you've got a little bit of a crush? You're wasting your time.

  Jez : I know: you're good looking and I'm too technical.

  Dylan : Jez, you've got to stop punishing yourself. You're not too technical, just ugly, gross ugly.

• Friend of Lady Georgina : Well done! Marvellous race, Lady Georgina.

  Georgie : Oh thank you. Oh, I forgot to mention that.

  Jez : *Lady* Georgina?

  Georgie : You're not cross, are you? No, you're pleased.

  Dylan : Doctor, peer of the realm and with secretarial skills? Who'd be cross?

• [Jez is discovered in the Rays' house. He tries to escape but Geoff catches hold of his trousers as he is climbing over the fence] 

  Geoff : [gleefully]  I've got you now, boy. I've got you now.

  [Jez presses a button on his waistband and shoots upwards and over the fence, minus his trousers] 

  Jez : [to himself]  All praise to my quick-release trousers.

• [filling in "complete the following phrase" coupons for prize draws] 

  Jez : "In not more than eight words, explain why you buy Zappy Nappies."

  Dylan : "I buy Zappy Nappies for my kids..." Shit, I've run out of words.

  Jez : We could try that: "I buy Zappy Nappies for my kids' shit." I've got it: "Weighs less that a bun. Holds more than a ton."

  Dylan : That's completely disgusting.

  Jez : But it's honest.

• [Georgie is fast asleep next to Jez in the car] 

  Dylan : You know, I can see it now - she's a stunningly attractive woman.

  Jez : It means she's relaxed in our company.

  Dylan : If she relaxes any more it could get very messy.

  Jez : Don't. She might hear you.

  Dylan : Jez, look at her. She's wasted. God only knows what she was up to last night.

  Jez : You're twisted. She's got charm and warmth and...

  Dylan : ...and neat little sit-up breasts.

• Jez : I was wondering... would you... perhaps you'd might consider... or... or think about... possibly...

  Dylan : I think he's trying to ask you if you'd like to kiss him.

  Georgie : Oh, go on then.

  [Jez and Georgie kiss passionately] 

  Dylan : Has the British aristocracy lost all sense of decency?

  [sees Floss approaching] 

  Dylan : I certainly hope so.