Chicken Run (2000)

Phil Daniels: Fetcher

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nick : [on the chickens' plane before take-off, pointing then crossing his arms to point]  The exits are located here and here. In the quite likely event of an emergency, put your head between your knees...

  Fetcher : and kiss your bum goodbye!

• [last lines] 

  Nick : Here's a thought. Why don't we get an egg and start our own chicken farm? That way we'd have all the eggs we could eat.

  Fetcher : Right. We'll need a chicken, then.

  Nick : No... no, we'll need an egg. You have the egg first, that's where you get the chicken from.

  Fetcher : No, that's cobblers. If you don't have a chicken, where are you going to get the egg?

  Nick : From the chicken that comes from the egg.

  Fetcher : Yeah, but you have to have an egg to have a chicken.

  Nick : Yeah, but you've got to get the chicken first to get the egg, and then you get the egg... to get the chicken out of...

  Fetcher : Hang on. Let's go over this again?

• Nick : What are you sobbin' about, you nancy?

  Fetcher : Little moments like this, mate. It's what makes the job all worthwhile. Wanna dance?

  Nick : ...Yeah, all right.

• Fetcher : It's raining hen.

• [telling Rocky about a caper] 

  Nick : We slipped into the farmer's room, all quiet like.

  Fetcher : Like a fish.

  Nick : Yeah, and we... "Like a fish"? You stupid norbert.

• Fetcher : Birds of a feather, flop together.

• [Babs falls from they sky, nearly on their heads] 

  Nick : What's this caper love?

  Babs : We're flying!

  Nick : [wryly]  Obviously.

  [spots the intense attempts at flying] 

  Nick : Flippin' 'ell! Look at this, Fetch.

  Fetcher : They're gonna kill themselves!

  [Beat] 

  Fetcher : Wanna watch?

  Nick : [Ponders]  Yeah, all right.

• Rocky : Guys, you are without a doubt the sneakiest, most light-fingered thieving parasites I've ever met.

  Nick : [flattered]  Oh, don't, don't. Stop it!

  Fetcher : I've gone bright red.

• [during the credits] 

  Nick : The egg, obviously, rolling along, happy as Larry, then crack! Hatches into the first chicken.

  Fetcher : Yeah, but where'd the egg come from, then?

  Nick : What do you mean where'd it come from?

  Fetcher : Egg comes rollin' along, 'appy as Larry, it's wonderin'... where'd it come from? Without a chicken, you get no egg to come rollin' along.

  Nick : Well, conversely, without an egg to hatch into the chicken, there will be no chicken to lay the other egg that hatches into the chicken that lays the egg I mentioned in the first place.

  Nick : So we got two eggs now?

  Fetcher : No, we're still talking about the very first egg.

  Fetcher : Yeah, but what 'appened to the very first chicken?

  Nick : 'E's in the very first egg, aren't you listening?

  Rocky : Uh, guys, guys? We're trying to enjoy paradise over here.

  Nick : Oh, sorry, guv.

  Fetcher : Beg your pardon.

  Nick : Won't happen again.

  Rocky : Thanks.

  Nick : Gitface.

  Fetcher : Pillock.

  Nick : Think he's such a bigshot 'cause he's got his name on a poster. Showbiz folk are all the same.

  Fetcher : Yeah, the rats are the stars, actually. But he does get all the birds

  Nick : Yeah, of course they are. We do all the 'ard work, 'e gets all the credit.

  Fetcher : He gets everything, doesn't he?

  Nick : Yes, he does. Everything.

  Fetcher : You said it, mate.

  Nick : I know.

• Ginger : We can't give you our eggs. They're too valuable.

  Nick : And so are we.

  [Packing up to leave] 

  Nick : After you, Fetcher.

  Fetcher : ...After I what?

  Nick : Move!

• Nick : Eggs from heaven.

  Fetcher : No! From her bum.

• [Bunty is about to be shot out of a slingshot] 

  Fetcher : The tension's killing me.

  Nick : It's gonna kill her.

• Ginger : We need some more things.

  Nick : Right you are, miss.

  [opens suitcase and pulls out thimbles] 

  Nick : How about this quality, handcrafted tea set?

  Ginger : No, thanks.

  Fetcher : [holding a drain plug on a chain]  Or this lovely necklace and pendant?

  Ginger : It's love...

  Nick : [holding a shuttlecock]  Or this little number that's all the rage in the most fashionable coops in Paree? Simply pop it on like so...

  [pops it on Ginger's head, feathers side up] 

  Nick : And as the French hens say, "Voilá!"

  Fetcher : That is French.

  Nick : It's two hats in one, miss. For parties...

  [turns shuttlecock over] 

  Nick : For weddings. Oh, madame! This makes you look like a vision, like a dream.

  Fetcher : Like a duck!

• Nick : [hearing of eggs]  Right. Just like the ones that rooster was gonna lay. Only roosters don't lay eggs, do they?

  Fetcher : Don't they?

  Nick : No, it's a lady thing, apparently - ask your mum.

• Nick : [of the radio]  Well, here she is. Ask and you shall receive.

  Fetcher : That's Biblical.

  Nick : That's real craftmanship, is what it is. Solid as a rock.

  Fetcher : [Fbangs on it; a knob flies off and hits a chicken]  It's supposed to do that.

• Nick : Imagine a world before chickens - a chickenless, eggless world...

  Fetcher : I am - and it's horrible.

• Nick : We slipped into the farmer's room, all quiet like...

  Fetcher : Like a fish!

  Nick : Yeah, and we...

  [turns to Fetcher] 

  Nick : "Like a fish"? You stupid norbert.