Chicken Run (2000)

Tony Haygarth: Mr. Tweedy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Tweedy : [being attacked by chickens]  Mrs. Tweedy! The chickens are revolting!

  Mrs. Tweedy : [with her back turned]  Finally, something we agree on.

• Mr. Tweedy : Ooh, that's champion, that is. What is it?

  Mrs. Tweedy : It's a pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in, pies come out.

  Mr. Tweedy : Ooh! What kind of pies?

  Mrs. Tweedy : Apple.

  Mr. Tweedy : My favorite!

  Mrs. Tweedy : Chicken pies, you great lummox! Imagine it. In less than a fortnight, every grocers' in the county will be stocked with box upon box of Mrs. Tweedy's Homemade Chicken Pies.

  Mr. Tweedy : Just... "Mrs."?

  Mrs. Tweedy : Woman's touch. Makes the public feel more comfortable.

• Mr. Tweedy : Oh, yes. Those chickens are up to something.

  Mrs. Tweedy : Quiet. I'm onto something.

  Mr. Tweedy : They're organised, I know it.

  Mrs. Tweedy : I said quiet.

  Mr. Tweedy : And that Ginger one, I reckon she's their leader.

  Mrs. Tweedy : [losing her patience and slamming her fist on the table]  Mr. Tweedy! I may finally have found a way to make us some real money around here and what are you on about? Ridiculous notions of escaping chickens!

  Mr. Tweedy : [stammering]  But... but...

  Mrs. Tweedy : It's all in your head, Mr. Tweedy. Say it!

  Mr. Tweedy : It's all in me head. It's all in me head.

  Mrs. Tweedy : Now, you keep telling yourself that because I don't want to hear another word about it! Is that clear?

  Mr. Tweedy : Yes, love. But you know that Ginger one...

  Mrs. Tweedy : They're *chickens*, you dolt! Apart from you, they're the most stupid creatures on this planet. They don't plot, they don't scheme, and they are *not* organised!

• [finding the chickens building the Crate] 

  Mr. Tweedy : Me tools! Why, you thieving little buggers!

• [after the chickens have escaped in The Crate and the pie machine has exploded] 

  Mr. Tweedy : I told you they was organised.

• Mr. Tweedy : [having just foiled an escape attempt by the chickens; to Ginger]  I'll teach you to make a fool out of me.

  [he imprisons her in a dumpster, then turns to the other chickens as he shouts:] 

  Mr. Tweedy : Now let that be a lesson to the lot of ya: no chicken escapes from Tweedy's farm!

• [Fetcher and Nick are stealing tools, hiding inside lawn gnomes as they move about while Mr. Tweedy is working; they steal the tools and start walking away and Mr. Tweedy notices] 

  Mr. Tweedy : Ohhhhh... gnomes now?

• Mr. Tweedy : What... what... what's all this, then?

  Mrs. Tweedy : This is our future, Mr. Tweedy. No more wasting time with petty egg collecting and minuscule profits.

  Mr. Tweedy : No more eggs? But we've always been egg farmers. Me father, and his father, and all their fathers, they was all...

  Mrs. Tweedy : Poor. Worthless. Nothings. But all that is about to change. This will take Tweedy's farm out of the Dark Ages and into full-scale automated production. Melisha Tweedy will be poor no longer.

• [flings Ginger into the coal-bunker "cooler"] 

  Mr. Tweedy : Now let that be a lesson for the lot of ya - no chicken escapes from Tweedy's farm!

• [Mr. Tweedy has attached Ginger to the clamps of the newly-completed chicken pie machine and activates it, bring Ginger toward the mouth of the machine] 

  Mr. Tweedy : Chickens go in; pies come out. Chicken pies. Not apple pies, chicken.

• Mrs. Tweedy : [after Ginger escaped]  Mr. Tweedy.

  Mr. Tweedy : Eh?

  Mrs. Tweedy : What is that chicken doing outside the fence?

  Mr. Tweedy : Oh!

  [chuckles] 

  Mr. Tweedy : I don't know, love. I...

  Mrs. Tweedy : Just deal with it. Now!

  [slams the door shut]