Heartbreakers (2001)

Jason Lee: Jack Withrowe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack Withrowe : Hi. Can I get you a drink?

  Page Conners : Wow! I've never heard that one before. You really blow me away with your creativity.

  Jack Withrowe : Well, I...

  Page Conners : "Well, I, uh..." Your recovery's even better! Do you even care at all who I am? I mean, I could be the Antichrist or have the intelligence of a thermos, but unfortunately *those* are not the matters the male penis ponders. So please tell me, why did you walk all the way over here to ask to get me a drink?

  Jack Withrowe : Well, because... I'm the bartender.

• Jack Withrowe : Tell me to my face you don't love me.

  Page Conners : I don't love you.

  Jack Withrowe : Wow. More believable than I thought it would be.

• Jack Withrowe : My car doesn't drive so well with a tree in it.

• Jack Withrowe : [on the phone]  Why won't you talk to me?

  Page Conners : [on the phone]  Because there's nothing to say.

  [Jack appears from behind "Jane's" car] 

  Jack Withrowe : Then why are you here?

• Page Conners : [on a deserted beach at night]  You're not out here burying high school kids, are you?

  Jack Withrowe : Well, they egged my car.

• Jack Withrowe : Look, I'm willing to explore the whole being dominated thing, okay? But let's just take it slow.

• Page Conners : You spy on people humping in boats? That's so perverted.

  Jack Withrowe : No, I look at stars.

  Page Conners : Look, just because they're famous doesn't mean they don't deserve their privacy too. Who ya got?

  Jack Withrowe : The stars up there.

  [points to sky] 

  Page Conners : You mean you come all the way out here to stare at space and shit?

  Jack Withrowe : No, I come out here to get away from the lights of the city so I can SEE the space and shit.

• Page Conners : Look, just give it to me, or would you rather have my heel up your ass?

  Jack Withrowe : Who told you I'm into that?

• Jack Withrowe : Isn't that the shoe you wanted to jam up my ass?

  Page Conners : No, that was the 6" heel.

• Jack Withrowe : You *are* good. You may not know it, but I *do*. You come on tough, but it's all just an act. I mean, you don't even believe in sleeping together before marriage. You're like a Brady or an Osmond or something.

• Jack Withrowe : [excusing Page's volatile behavior]  Everyone's a little irritable after they choke.

• Page Conners : [bursting into Jack's bar]  I want my purse, jerk-off!

  Jack Withrowe : That's not very friendly. Now, I want you to go back out, and this time, when you kick the door open, say something nice.

  Page Conners : [standing firm]  You stole my purse, dip-shit, and you stole it so I'd have to see your ugly-ass face again.

• Max Conners : Turning down a wedding gift is bad luck.

  Jack Withrowe : Oh, I've never heard that before.

  Max Conners : Sure, everything to do with weddings is bad luck.