- [last lines]
- Bernard Kuntz: [hangs up phone] They...
- Bernard Kuntz, Harvey Cox: [in unison] quit. Both of 'em. *All* of 'em.
- Harvey Cox: What'll we do, Bernie?
- Bernard Kuntz: Somewhere in this whole starstruck town there's gotta be another guy with a big cock, a pretty face, able to cum on cue.
- [looks directly at camera, takes a puff of his cigar, and points at the viewer]
- Bernard Kuntz: You, fella, you out there, how 'bout you? You wanna be a matinee idol?
- Lance Hardy: [after a publisher asks him to go home with his wife to discuss a potential sex book] You got a nice place here. So, ha, we're gonna, ah, you want me to do a little book by book, ah?
- Doris Micheals: Listen, Lance. Walter will never find out about this.
- Lance Hardy: Ah?
- Doris Micheals: He could never understand how I really feel about you. Only I understand, Lance. I know what you feel.
- Lance Hardy: You know what I feel?
- Doris Micheals: Listen to me, Lance! I am talking about a relationship here!
- [after having sex on her boss' table]
- Casting directors' secretary: Mr. Hardy, you spilled cum on Mr. Cox' desk.
- [laughs]
- Lance Hardy: Ah, that's too bad. Why don't you put some on Kuntz' desk too?
- [after auditioning TV Specialty Act who has a monitor in her private areas]
- Bernard Kuntz: What do you think?
- Harvey Cox: I don't know. What's the score?
- Bernard Kuntz: Not the game, schmuck! What do you think of the act?
- Harvey Cox: Ah, what's the big deal? She only gets one channel.
- Bernard Kuntz: [as the volume is high] Turn that thing down a little, would you, honey?
- [first lines]
- Female Voice: [from off screen, unintelligible]
- Male Voice: [from off screen] Sure, can I get that
- [unintelligible]
- Male Voice: back over here kickin' this ladder?