Private Relations (1968) Poster

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Beyond nostalgia, nothing to offer in badly made soft porn
lor_17 March 2015
Thankfully rediscovered by a couple of new generations who weren't born when these films were made, the pornography (soft) of the '60s has acquired a tiny but loyal legion of fans. I fall into the camp who wants to see virtually all the films still surviving from that period, but I have not drunk the Kool Aid that causes one to either consider them works of art or pretends that they are some redefined "sexploitation genre" rather than porn. What's wrong with calling a spade a spade?

This NYC effort which the AFI Catalogue for the '60s lumped together with a (now lost) film titled SUGAR DADDY made by the same team is a slipshod effort, embarrassingly crude at time ins terms of basics like syncing sound with visuals, continuity, etc. At one point a main character receives a phone call from his wife (she never appears on screen in the film) and some guy doing a cute little old lady voice is dubbed on the soundtrack -not meant to be funny but ludicrously filling the expository void.

John Damon, a wooden Ray Danton lookalike, stars as a public relation mans working in Manhattan's Brill Bldg. - the brief scenes of Times Square being the most interesting time capsule moments in this film. He's surrounded by peppy co-stars: Janet Banzet as an aspiring actress he keeps misleading and taking advantage of, a loyal secretary (credited under pseudonym Elizabeth Easter), a rich socialite girlfriend Willi (soft porn veteran Uta Errickson) and a pornographer/photography associate played anonymously by "Stanley McAvoy".

With endless yapping credited to screenwriter Walter Berger (all of whose credits are suspiciously for Larry Crane-directed movies within a one-year period), film revolves around Damon's machinations to blackmail folks so that he can make a quick buck, his p.r. company notably failing. He even has to borrow 50 cents (those were tough times) from his secretary at one point.

An untalented country singer badly played by anonymous "Biff Williams" is sought by our hero to represent, but he has to deal with his irascible manager Joe Kugel. Damon has conveniently inherited a 145-acre Long Island estate, so he plots with McAvoy to wire up the place for hidden photography and blackmail the hick singer and his manager.

Cheap movie has no budget for sets, so the L.I. mansion is totally unbelievable, its scenes look they were shot in the Brill Bldg. too, or more accurately, on the same sets purporting to be his office there. A restaurant/night club scene is ineptly staged, merely as an excuse to see the wonderful soft porn superstar Linda Boyce strip.

In fact, the only reason this film was made and its sole content is the female cast members disrobing frequently to show bare breasts and bums to the camera. Chief participant in this charade is the tragic Banzet, a starlet who committed suicide in 1971 and who looks embarrassed throughout this farrago. Her character makes no sense and the happy ending of her going away with the country boy to get married is absurd. The ending is so sudden and sloppy that it would stand out if it weren't for the sloppiness that precedes it.

That said, it would be interesting to sit through the other remaining titles from this production outfit (Lark Films) to see what else they perpetrated from a camp point-of-view. The other 3 of their titles in IMDb all appear lost at the moment: the aforementioned SUGAR DADDY, a tale of the Marquis de Sade titled THE DEVIL IN VELVET and the cleverly named THE MASTER BEATER. Given the current weak state of the porn reissue industry (streaming has killed DVDs of this sort just as surely as the DVDs put their VHS brethren out of business) I doubt if anyone else cares enough to get them back in circulation.
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