Keri Russell: Felicity Porter
Felicity : [Holding a pair of panties] Hey... um... are - are these yours?
Meghan : Yeah.
Felicity : They were in my refrigerator.
Meghan : Oh, I know. I haven't done that since I was a kid. It feels so good, cold underwear in the morning.
Felicity : Hey, could you do me a favor and, uh, not put your underwear in my fridge?
Meghan : Well, they're not dirty.
Felicity : And also, where's my apple?
Meghan : I ate it. I thought we had an agreement, give and take.
Felicity : You thought we had an agreement? We don't have an agreement on anything. We've never even had a real conversation before!
Meghan : I replaced your stupid apple.
Felicity : With a tub of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"?
Meghan : It tastes so much like butter.
Noel : I gave blood last month, and I had zero contact with anybody, and I have a card. So that means, medically, that I am safe sex material.
Felicity : Wow. Okay, so, uh...
[Takes out her day planner and flips through it]
Felicity : So, uh, when do you want to do this?
Noel : Um, now?
Felicity : I don't want to rush it.
Noel : No, no, okay. Um, how about tonight?
Felicity : [Looking at planner] Uh, lecture.
Noel : Okay, tomorrow.
Felicity : I got lab tomorrow.
Noel : Right. How about Wednesday? I'm wide open Wednesday!
Felicity : I'm working at Dean and Deluca.
Noel : Isn't, uh, isn't there someone who can cover for you?
Felicity : Yeah, yeah, I'm sure I can. Okay.
[Starts writing in the planner]
Felicity : "Noel... sex." Is eight o'clock okay?
Noel : For sex? Eight o'clock? Eight o'clock is good.
Felicity : Anyway, in my closet, I found this thing on my wall. It's a list of all the people who lived in this room before me - it went back to 1968. Randall Clark... Melissa Stone... Keith Bradshaw... Patty Tagliabue... I mean these names, these people I never heard of... you know, I just started wondering. I wonder where they are today, you know? How much they remember of their freshman year? I wonder if they're all still alive.
Felicity : Sally, I would only say this to you, so after you listen to this tape, you have to erase it. But I can actually picture what it might be like to be with a man for the first time, sexually. If you're laughing at me right now, I don't blame you.
[Elena confronts Felicity about her affair with Noel]
Elena : Don't try to deny it. You just went whiter than usual.
Felicity : Who told you that?
Elena : That Halloween costume you live with. And if you want to know why I'm so upset, it's because if procedure as benign as a fridge lottery is susceptible to sexual conspiracy - what does that say about the whole system?
Felicity : You think I'm dating Noel to get an appliance?
Elena : I think you're dating Noel and getting an appliance.
Meghan : I think it's premium.
Felicity : What?
Meghan : You having a forbidden affair.
Felicity : I'm not having a forbidden affair.
Meghan : Man, I had you pegged as this uptight, no-fun, like, follow-the-rules kiss-ass bore.
Felicity : Well, actually that's much closer to my personality.
Meghan : You and the R.A! You just went up, like, a notch.
Felicity : Julie, I'm really sorry that you heard that. I should have come to you, and told you something up front.
Julie Emrick : That would have been hard. I mean, how do you tell somebody you're trying to steal their boyfriend?
Felicity : That's not what I was doing.
Julie Emrick : God, I feel so stupid when I was asking you, if you thought there was another woman. I had no idea I was talking to her.
Felicity : Julie...
Julie Emrick : He's a good kisser, isn't he?
Felicity : I did not plan this. Julie. I am so sorry.
Julie Emrick : You know, I really don't care what the hell you are. You can be sorry or not, it doesn't matter to me. You're just a lying bitch.