The Curse of Monkey Island (1997 Video Game)

Earl Boen: LeChuck

Quotes 

• Elaine Marley : Let's face it, LeChuck. You are an evil, foul-smelling, vile, co-dependent villain and that's just not what I'm looking for in a romantic relationship right now.

  [LeChuck and his henchman Skully look at each other in confusion as to what Elaine meant] 

  LeChuck : Darn yer riddles, ya saucy female! What d'ya mean?

  [cuts off Skully's head while he speaks] 

  Skully : Ahhh! Ohhh!

  Elaine Marley : You're a blood-thirsty monster who's already kidnapped me once, tortured my friends, and taken from me the only man I ever loved: Guybrush Threepwood.

  Skully : [Guybrush sighs happily]  Awwww... how romantic...

  [sees Guybrush] 

  Skully : Ship Ahoy!

• LeChuck : Now with the demon flames of this voodoo cannonball, I'll blast my significant other into the significant otherworld, ha ha! That'll show how much I truly care.

• LeChuck : [as the LeChuck toy doll]  Arrr! Math be hard! Let's go shopping!

• LeChuck : Burn down every island in the Caribbean if you have to, but bring me my bride!... and more slaw! Curse the villains, they never give you enough slaw with these value meals.

• Guybrush Threepwood : What happened to Rum Rogers, Sr.?

  LeChuck : He was takin' a bath in his cabin near Phatt Island, drinking rum and eatin' toast, as he always did while bathing, when the toaster "mysteriously" fell into the tub with him.

  Guybrush Threepwood : Shocking.

  LeChuck : His son inherited the map piece, but was too much of a drunkard to understand its importance!

  [laughs] 

• Guybrush Threepwood : What happened to Rapp Scallion, the cook?

  LeChuck : Rapp Scallion died in a flash fire in his weenie hut on Scabb Island.

  Guybrush Threepwood : That's right! I brought him back to life with a voodoo spell! I remember it so vividly...

  [Guybrush remembers reviving Rapp Scallion in 'Monkey Island 2'] 

  LeChuck : Guybrush?

  Guybrush Threepwood : Oh, I'm sorry, I was miles away. What were you saying?

  LeChuck : I knew about Rapp's absent-minded tendency to leave his gas burners on, so I arranged for a fully-lit cake to be delivered to him on his thirty-fifth birthday.

  [laughs] 

  LeChuck : Ye could hear the explosion as far as Booty Island!

  Guybrush Threepwood : That's horrible!

  LeChuck : "Steamin' Weenie," indeed.

• Guybrush Threepwood : What became of Young Lindy, the cabin boy?

  LeChuck : Fearin' fer his life, he came to me and begged for mercy. In return for not revealing the location of Big Whoop, I let him live. As a sign of me "gratitude," I gave him a fortune which he used to build a successful advertising firm. Once he had grown accustomed to his wealthy lifestyle, I returned to collect me debt. I delivered to him an account so demonically ill-conceived that it was doomed to fail: Gangrene 'n' Honey. Within a month, he was penniless and insane, a broken man! He sold everything he owned and got so desperate he fell in with a traveling circus. He was killed when he was shot from a cannon without a helmet.

  Guybrush Threepwood : No one could be THAT desperate!

• Guybrush Threepwood : What fate befell Captain Marley?

  LeChuck : I ambushed him while he was racing in the America's Cup. I boarded his ship and decided to let him determine his own fate. He could grant me his blessing to have his granddaughter's hand in marriage, or he could suffer a death more horrible than any of his crewmates'.

  Guybrush Threepwood : Well? What'd he say?

  LeChuck : Actually, he said quite a few things. "Oh, the pain!" "Stop it, you're killing me!"

  [Elaine tries to shout something through her gag] 

  LeChuck : Eh, some other things. I forget them all. I left him for dead and sent his ship into a whirlpool not even the most accomplished captain could escape!

  [Elaine tries to shout something again] 

  Guybrush Threepwood : You're unbelievably ghastly and wretched!

  LeChuck : Oh, thanks!

• Guybrush Threepwood : I thought the treasure of Big Whoop was on Dinky Island.

  LeChuck : Dinky Island be an atoll, just off the coast a Monkey Island. But they be connected by a maze o' mysterious tunnels that run under the very ocean floor. So although ye dug fer treasure on Dinky, when ye found me carnival ye were on Monkey Island!

  [laughs] 

  Guybrush Threepwood : Very tidy explanation.

  LeChuck : Aye!

• LeChuck : [to Guybrush]  Aaargh! You again! If ye've ridden me coaster, why haven't ye been boiled in me molten pool of lava? Hmmmm... Elaine musta fiddled with me controls and rerouted the tracks. Aye, she'll be the death o' me yet... I mean, *again*!

  [laughs] 

  LeChuck : But curses if I can't help but love the little woman.

• LeChuck : By my congealed blood, you'll learn to love me! Sail with me and I'll make ya queen of the dead!

  Elaine Marley : I... I can't. I'm washing my hair tonight.