Cruel Intentions (1999)

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Kathryn Merteuil

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Quotes 

• Sebastian : You amaze me.

  Kathryn : Eat me, Sebastian! It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me, are you in... or are you out?

• Sebastian : What shall we toast to?

  Kathryn : To my triumph.

  Sebastian : It's not my choice of toast, but it's your call. To your triumph over Annette.

  [Kathryn laughs] 

  Sebastian : What's so funny?

  Kathryn : Silly rabbit. My triumph isn't over her. It's over you.

  Sebastian : Come again?

  Kathryn : You were very much in love with her. And you're still in love with her. But it amused me to make you ashamed of it. You gave up on the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation. Don't you get it? You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with. And now you've completely blown it with her. I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

  [drinks champagne] 

  Kathryn : Tastes good. So, I assume you've come here to make arrangements. But unfortunately, I don't fuck losers.

• Kathryn : Oh, Sebastian? That little wager of yours? Count me in.

  Sebastian : What are the terms?

  Kathryn : If I win, then that hot little car of yours is mine.

  Sebastian : And if I win?

  Kathryn : [Takes off her jacket to reveal a skimpy-looking tank top]  I'll give you something you've been obsessing about ever since our parents got married.

  Sebastian : Be more specific.

  Kathryn : In English? I'll fuck your brains out.

  Sebastian : [a little shocked for a moment, recovers]  What makes you think I'll go for that bet? That is a 1956 Jaguar Roadster.

  Kathryn : Because I'm the only person you can't have, and it kills you.

  Sebastian : No way.

  [Starts to exit the room] 

  Kathryn : You can put it anywhere...

  Sebastian : [Stops in his tracks, bites his lip]  You've got yourself a bet, baby.

  [they shake hands and Sebastian exits] 

  Kathryn : Happy hunting, Sebastian.

• Kathryn : She's quite cute, you know? Young, supple breasts, a tight, firm ass... uncharted pooty... Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go where no man has gone before.

• Kathryn : Can I take my new car for a ride?

  Sebastian : Kathryn, the only thing you'll be riding is me.

• Kathryn : [into a phone]  Fuck her yet?

  Sebastian : [into a phone]  I'm working on it.

  Kathryn : Loser!

  Sebastian : Blow me!

  Kathryn : Call me later?

  Sebastian : Sure.

  [hangs up] 

• Sebastian : I have a reputation to uphold.

  Kathryn : Oh, but diddling the therapist's daughter is a challenge.

  Sebastian : [grinning]  She was overcharging.

• Bunny Caldwell : How do you do it? Where do you get your strength?

  Kathryn : [pulling out her cross that doubles as a cocaine dispenser]  Well I know this sounds corny, but whenever I feel the temptation of peer pressure, I turn to God and he helps me through the problem.

  Bunny Caldwell : Oh, that's beautiful.

• Kathryn : The parental units called while you were out.

  Sebastian : How IS your gold-digging, whore of a mother enjoying Bali?

  Kathryn : She suspects your impotent, alcoholic father is diddling the maid.

  Sebastian : Good.

• Kathryn : [referring to Annette]  She's really getting to you, isn't she?

  Sebastian : If you must know, yes. I can't stand that holier-than-thou bullshit, and yet, I'm completely infatuated with her.

  [pauses] 

  Sebastian : She made me laugh.

• Kathryn : My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.

  Cecile Caldwell : But that would make me a slut, wouldn't it?

  Kathryn : Cecile, everybody does it; it's just that nobody talks about it.

  Cecile Caldwell : So, it's like a secret society?

  Kathryn : That's one way looking at it.

  [under her breath] 

  Kathryn : Fucking idiot...

• Kathryn : I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so horny.

• Kathryn : I wanna FUCK!

  Sebastian : And I don't.

• Kathryn : Unfortunately, our Don Juan is moving with the speed of a Special Olympics hurdler.

• Kathryn : Introduce her to your world of sex, drugs and... what else do you do?

• Annette : I don't know if this'll help. But sometimes when I'm feeling down, I turn to Jesus and he helps me through it.

  Kathryn : Thank you.

  Annette : All right, well, I'll see you around campus.

  Kathryn : Looking forward to it... Freak.

• Kathryn : Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.

• Sebastian : She has a boyfriend named Trevor. Been going out for a year... Trevor understands.

  Kathryn : Trevor's a fag.

• Kathryn : [takes her hand off his crotch]  Down, boy.

• Kathryn : I think there's something going on between Cecile and her music teacher.

  Bunny Caldwell : Ronald? That's crazy.

  Kathryn : I know. She's so young, and he's so...

  Bunny Caldwell : Black!

  [Store Clerk sets down a cup of coffee] 

  Bunny Caldwell : Brown sugar. No sugar.

• Kathryn : Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. When I'm through with Cecile, she'll be the premiere tramp of the New York area.

• Sebastian : Read this.

  [puts down a copy of "seventeen" magazine on the table] 

  Kathryn : I know how to alleviate menstrual cramps, thank you very much.

• Sebastian : Sounds great... I love you too.

  Kathryn : [mocking Sebastian]  "I love you"? My God. You are completely pussy-whipped.

  Sebastian : Stop it.

  Kathryn : What happened to us?

  Sebastian : Nothing's changed.

  Kathryn : Yes it has. You're in love with her, you don't love me anymore.

  Sebastian : Come on, Kathryn, it's just a bet.

  Sebastian : [after being kissed by Kathryn and pushing her away]  This is ridiculous.

  Kathryn : What's ridiculous, dear brother, is you! Look at yourself, look at what you've been reduced to! Have you given any thought to what's going to happen when school starts? Not only are you dating Miss Seventeen Magazine, but she's also the new headmaster's daughter. Before you know it, you'll be giving campus tours with her. Oh, wait, her father doesn't know about your past, does he? I doubt he'd let his little princess be seen with the likes of you. Hmm... It's so disappointing to see Annette's manifesto was a total sham. Though, as student body president, I feel it's my sworn duty to tell him.

  [picks up the phone and starts dialing] 

  Sebastian : Put the phone down.

  Kathryn : Shh, this will only take a second.

  Kathryn : [after Sebastian grabs the phone and slams it down]  Hmm, quite the predicament you're in.

  Sebastian : I don't care what you say. The fact of the matter is that I was planning on telling her everything this afternoon.

  Kathryn : Oh, that's right, I forgot, you're so in love. Do you honestly believe you've done a complete 180 in the few days you've known her? Well let me tell you something, people don't change overnight. You and I are two of a kind. At least I have the guts to admit it. You were going to leave school a legend, now you're going to leave a joke.

  Sebastian : Well, I'm willing to take my chances.

  Kathryn : Don't do it, Sebastian. Not only will you ruin your reputation, you'll destroy hers.

• [reading a virgin's manifesto] 

  Kathryn : "Why I Plan to Wait" by Annette Hargrove, Kansas City, Kansas. Jesus Christ, is she for real?

  Sebastian : Oh, she's daddy's little angel, a paradigm of chastity and virtue.

• Bunny Caldwell : How do you do it? Where do you get your strength?

  Kathryn : [Pulling out her cross that she hides her coke in]  I know this will sound corny, but, whenever I feel the temptation of peer pressure, I turn to God and he helps me through the problem.

• Kathryn : Who are you spying on? That her?

  Sebastian : Yeah

  Kathryn : Aww, she's crying. Little baby upset about the big bad book.

  Sebastian : Shut up!

  Kathryn : What's up your ass?

• Kathryn : [on the phone]  Cecile?... OK, stop crying... stop crying... You know... hold on for Sebastian.

  Sebastian : Cecile?... Stop crying.

• Sebastian : Ohh well, duty calls. Dr. Greenbaum and her daughter should make for interesting entry.

  Kathryn : Ohh, your journal. Could you be more queer?

  Sebastian : Could you be more desperate to read it?

• Kathryn : You're telling me you had the chance to fuck her and you didn't? God, are you a chump.

  Sebastian : A momentary lapse of judgment, soon to be rectified.

• Kathryn : [after kissing]  See? That wasn't so scary.

  Cecile Caldwell : It was nothing.

  Kathryn : Okay, let's try it again only this time I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth, and when I do that I want you to massage my tongue with yours. And that's what first base is.

  Cecile Caldwell : Okay!

  Kathryn : Eyes closed.

  [they french kiss] 

  Kathryn : Not bad.

  Cecile Caldwell : That was cool!

• Kathryn : [mocking Sebastian]  "I love you"? My God. You are completely pussy-whipped.

• Cecile Caldwell : [Kathryn is watching Cecile from a video cam]  Peace out.

  Kathryn : Peace out? What a moron.