(1988 Video)

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Incompetent porn becomes camp
lor_26 June 2022
Beyond the pointless title, seeing is believing in the case of this horrible excuse for a porn movie, which hasn't improved since 1988. Describing it can't do justice to how poor it is, ultimately resulting in low camp.

Much of the unintentional humor is priceless (or worthless depending on one's point-of-view). What passes for story, in a feature that should have been all-sex/no-dialogue given the untalented filmmakers, we have young and pretty Tawnee, overcoming her lack of acting ability or facility at delivering her lines, inflicting Scott Irish with her chemistry experiments based on reading a witchcraft book (!).

First, she uses an eyedropper to put some liquid on a couple of dollar bills that are lying on Scott's body as he sleeps on a couch (I couldn't resist imagining that the $2 was what the porn actor was paid for his sex scene). The dollar bills enlarge greatly, and when Scott awakes she tells him about her enlarging formula. Then she puts droplets on his cock that's hidden below a towel on Scott's crotch, and he's surprised he's suddenly got a big cock!

Of course, all the better to f*ck her with, and Tawnee gives impressive deep throat, a recurring motif of this show.

Things get sillier and sillier, as she takes Scott to her "lab" which is a living room containing some contraption, dry ice foaming and a big bird cage (apologies to Pam Grier). She whips out a doll (resembling a cabbage patch doll) which she uses as a Voodoo doll, though denying that's what it is when Scott inquires. It has blonde hair and she uses it to torment roommate Stephanie Rage.

Rage, seen here before she had her breasts greatly enlarged (latter move winning her many a porn fan), later has an embarrassing masturbation scene where she has to pretend her body is out of control caused by poking the little doll.

Another jawdropper has Randy West, an all-time great in Adult Cinema, somehow stooping to appearing in this farrago, playing rather preposterously a chemistry student classmate of Tawnee's! (I had to research this, and while Tawnee was 20, Randy was 40 when this movie was shot, a tad bit old to be in her high-school chemistry class).

Randy visits Tawnee and shows her his magical formula for an aphrodisiac, and then puts it to use, humping the young starlet, who deep throats him with aplomb. This scene is memorably bad, as the birds in Tawnee's cage chirp louder and louder on the soundtrack, out of control, all the distracting noise left in the release print.

But not forever, as two years later the video was re-released with this scene omitted, replaced by a newly shot lesbian scene featuring Kelly Blue and Gidgette, to pass the movie off as a new release.

The show drags on, and gets worse, but again one has to sit through it to appreciate its endless array of mindlessness, right up to the voodoo doll winking at the camera at its conclusion.
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