Galaxy Quest (1999)

Alan Rickman: Alexander Dane

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Sir Alexander Dane : By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged.

• [Quellek has been shot, and is dying. Alexander rushes to him] 

  Sir Alexander Dane : Quellek?

  [sees Quellek's wound] 

  Sir Alexander Dane : That's not too bad. We'll get you to the medical quarters, and you'll be fine.

  Quellek : It has been my greatest pleasure to serve with you. I have been blessed, Sir. I... I... I...

  Sir Alexander Dane : Don't speak, Quellek.

  Quellek : You'll forgive my impertinence, Sir, but even though we have never before met, I have always considered you as a father to me.

  Sir Alexander Dane : Quellek... by Grabthar's hammer... by the Suns of Worvan... you shall be... avenged.

• Sir Alexander Dane : Could they be the miners?

  Fred Kwan : Sure, they're like three years old.

  Sir Alexander Dane : MINERS, not MINORS.

  Fred Kwan : You lost me.

• Sir Alexander Dane : You're just going to have to figure out what it wants. What is its motivation?

  Jason Nesmith : It's a rock monster. It doesn't have motivation.

  Sir Alexander Dane : See, that's your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft.

• [the rock monster chases Nesmith] 

  Alexander Dane : You're just going to have to kill it.

  Jason Nesmith : Kill it? Well, I'm open to any suggestions.

  Tommy Webber : Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!

  Jason Nesmith : He doesn't have any eyes, Tommy!

  Tommy Webber : Go for the mouth, then, the throat, his vulnerable spots!

  Jason Nesmith : It's a rock! It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!

  Guy Fleegman : I know! You construct a weapon. Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?

• [Fred tries to digitize the pig-lizard with disastrous results] 

  Jason Nesmith : What? What was that?

  Alexander Dane : Uh, nothing.

  Jason Nesmith : I heard some squealing or something.

  Gwen DeMarco : Oh, no. Everything's fine.

  Teb : But the animal is inside out.

  Jason Nesmith : I heard that! It turned inside out?

  [the pig-lizard explodes] 

  Teb : And it exploded.

  Jason Nesmith : Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then it EXPLODED? Hello?

  Gwen DeMarco : [Flipping a bit of pig-lizard off her communicator]  Hold, please.

• Sir Alexander Dane : I see you've managed to get your shirt off.

• Sir Alexander Dane : [In disgust]  By Grabthar's hammer... what a savings.

• [the crew is on a shuttle descending to an alien planet] 

  Guy Fleegman : I changed my mind. I wanna go back.

  Sir Alexander Dane : After the fuss you made about getting left behind?

  Guy Fleegman : Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship, and something is up there, and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.

  Jason Nesmith : You're not gonna die on the planet, Guy.

  Guy Fleegman : I'm not? Then what's my last name?

  Jason Nesmith : It's, uh, uh - -I don't know.

  Guy Fleegman : Nobody knows. Do you know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.

  Gwen DeMarco : Guy, you have a last name.

  Guy Fleegman : DO I? DO I? For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six"! Mommy... mommy...

  Sir Alexander Dane : Are we there yet?

• Sir Alexander Dane : I played Richard III.

  Fred Kwan : Five curtain calls...

  Sir Alexander Dane : There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once, damn it. Now look at me. Look at me! I won't go out there and say that stupid line one more time.

• Jason Nesmith : You WILL go out there.

  Sir Alexander Dane : I won't and nothing you say will make me.

  Jason Nesmith : The show must go on.

  Sir Alexander Dane : ...Damn you.

• [after fake fighting] 

  Jason Nesmith : You used to pull your punches.

  Sir Alexander Dane : It's "Scene-Stealing Hack," thank you.

  Jason Nesmith : "Raving Egomaniac"?

  Sir Alexander Dane : Can't think where I got THAT from.

• Gwen DeMarco : Alex, where are you going?

  Sir Alexander Dane : To see if there's a pub.

• Sir Alexander Dane : Where's the happy ending, Jason? "Never give up, never surrender?"

  Jason Nesmith : [Using the opportunity to provoke a fake fight]  Maybe it's about time you just backed off, you fin-headed monstrosity.

  Sir Alexander Dane : You what?

  Jason Nesmith : You're starting to act just like to did in Episode 17, you scene-stealing hack!

  Sir Alexander Dane : [Finally catching on]  Oh! Right! Well, how does it feel, Jason? Was it worth it? You've murdered us all!

  Jason Nesmith : Shut up.

  Sir Alexander Dane : Hundreds to die, just because of you!

  Jason Nesmith : I told you to shut up!

  [They are both shoved into an air lock] 

  Sir Alexander Dane : Hundreds to die, just because you want to play at being commander, you raving lunatic.

  [They begin shoving each other] 

  Jason Nesmith : Then I'll see you in Hell, won't I?

  [They begin punching each other. Alexander motions Jason towards a metal rod. Jason swings at him, Alexander ducks, and Jason knocks out one of the guards. They rush the others] 

• Sir Alexander Dane : [Guy is grinning at Alex]  What?

  Guy Fleegman : I'm just jazzed about being on the show, man.

• Gwen DeMarco : [On the phone, discussing Jason's meltdown]  I mean it Alex, I'm worried. I've never seen him lose it like that before. Not to a fan.

  Sir Alexander Dane : [Alexander is alone in his apartment. He has a shower towel over his shoulder and is looking through the refrigerator. He is still wearing his alien headgear prosthetic]  Gwen, I've been saying it for years. He's mentally unstable.

• Sir Alexander Dane : You don't hold the turbo down, it's for quick boosts!

  Jason Nesmith : Oh, like you know!

• Voice of Computer : Enemy is matching velocity.

  Gwen DeMarco : The enemy is matching velocity.

  Sir Alexander Dane : We heard it the first time.

  Gwen DeMarco : Gosh, I'm doing it. I'm repeating the darn computer.

• Sir Alexander Dane : [Indicated Jason]  Need I remind you that this man is wearing a costume, not a uniform. He's no more qualified to lead us than

  [indicating Guy] 

  Sir Alexander Dane : ... this fellow... No offense...

• [They're flying through a mine field in an attempt to shake off Sarris] 

  Sir Alexander Dane : Could you possibly try NOT to hit EVERY SINGLE ONE?

• Sir Alexander Dane : [Looking out of the shuttle-craft window; Taggart has heroically stayed on the planet to draw off the Berillium-Sphere Mine Denizens]  Oh, of course! IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU, ISN'T IT?

• Teb : [after Alexander and Quellek open the door to the barracks]  We're saved! He saved us! Commander Taggart has saved us!

  the Thermian crew in the barracks : [cheering together]  Hurrah! Commander Taggart!

  Sir Alexander Dane : It's just not fair.

• [first lines] 

  Laredo : Exiting the time knot now, Sir.

  Tech Sgt. Chen : We're alive.

  Laredo : We made it, Commander. We made it.

  Dr. Lazarus : By Grabthar's hammer, we live to tell the tale.

  Voice of Computer : Systems registering functional.

  Lt. Tawny Madison : All systems are working, Commander.

  Commander Peter Quincy Taggart : I don't like it. It was too easy.

  Laredo : Wait. Oh, no! They're everywhere. There are time knots opening everywhere.

  Lt. Tawny Madison : A trap!

  Dr. Lazarus : We're surrounded, Commander.

  [crew screaming as the ship is hit] 

  Tech Sgt. Chen : It's a core meltdown, sir. It can't be stopped.

  Dr. Lazarus : Surrender may be our only option.

  Commander Peter Quincy Taggart : No! Never give up, never surrender.

  Laredo : Your orders, sir?

  [pause] 

  Laredo : Sir, your orders?

  Commander Peter Quincy Taggart : Activate the Omega 13.

  [?to be continued? appears on the screen] 

• [On the Thermians' worship of the egotistical Jason Nesmith] 

  Sir Alexander Dane : It's like throwing gasoline on a flame.

• Sir Alexander Dane : You broke the ship. You broke the bloody ship.

• Tommy Webber : You were holding it upside down

  Sir Alexander Dane : Shut up.

• Teb : Are you enjoying your Kep-mok blood ticks, Dr. Lazarus?

  Sir Alexander Dane : [disgusted]  Just like mother used to make.

  Sir Alexander Dane : [Blood tick jump off his spoon and splashes down into the bowl of tentacles. Alexander puts his head in his hands and sighs] 

• Quellek : By Grabthar's hammer, Dr. Lazarus...

  Sir Alexander Dane : [Interrupts]  Don't do that! I'm not kidding.

• Sir Alexander Dane : Where's the happy ending, Jason? "Never give up, never surrender"?

• Jason Nesmith : You know, you're starting to act a lot like you did in episode 17.

  Sir Alexander Dane : [thinks a moment]  Ooohhh. Right!

• Gwen DeMarco : Here we go.

  Jason Nesmith : Which way, Alexander?

  Sir Alexander Dane : This way. No, wait. That way.