Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins (2000 Video)
Evil Emperor Zurg: A delightful blend of man and machine... with just a naughty touch of lingonberry! I shall call you... Agent Z!
Agent Z: That's stupid.
Evil Emperor Zurg: My mother used to call me that!
Brain Pod #29: You know, he really, really likes that name.
Grubs, Self Destruct, Ranger #1, Rhizomian Man, and Cadet Flarn: Yes, he's been saving it for a very evil henchmen.
Agent Z: Agent Z, love it. Especially the whole "Z" thing.
Evil Emperor Zurg: If you want something turned evil, turn it evil yourself. That's what Nana Zurg always used to say to me, and she was plenty evil.
[the Evil Emporer Zurg's new mind control ray is a success]
Evil Emperor Zurg: Another planet and it's mine! I'm not the man who knows the man! I AM the man!
Brain Pod #29: Uh, about my raise...?
Evil Emperor Zurg: Please. Once I enslave the universe, I won't need the likes of you. It'll be all Zurg, all the time! 24-7! Zurgie heaven!
XR: You know, the guy's supposed to be some kind of evil genius, and best he can come up with is a ventriloquist act. What's next, evil juggling?
Buzz Lightyear: I have a feeling that Zurg is planning his most diabolical scheme yet.
[cuts to Planet Z and Zurg]
Evil Emperor Zurg: This is my most diabolical scheme yet!
Booster: The Space Ranger Manual says "No Ranger is allowed to go on a mission without a partner." I think it's Section B, sub-section Delta.
Buzz Lightyear: Actually, it's sub-section Gamma.
XR: He's right, big guy, sub-section Delta's the dress code. Incidentally, why can't we have nose rings?
Buzz Lightyear: Because nose rings are for punks, little mister!
Mira Nova: Well if you can go out without a partner, I don't see why XR can't have a nose ring.
XR: Hey, I'm not the one getting a nose ring, I was just making a statement.
Booster: Then, who's getting a nose ring?
Booster: That's why Buzz wants to ditch us!
Warp Darkmatter/Agent Z: [after revealing his identity as Agent Z to Buzz] My name's DARKmatter; who's surprised here?
Warp Darkmatter: Why didn't you tell me?
Buzz Lightyear: Sorry, it was strictly need-to-know classified.
Warp Darkmatter: I'm your partner, I need to know.
Buzz Lightyear: Now you do.
Warp Darkmatter: Anything else I should know?
Buzz Lightyear: No, I'd say you're up to speed.
Warp Darkmatter: Okay, thank you.
Buzz Lightyear: This diabolical plot can only be the work of the sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance - Evil Emperor Zurg!
Warp Darkmatter: What plot? You think Zurg is behind every kitten stuck up a tree!
Buzz Lightyear: The fiend! Why can't he leave kitty-cats out of his nefarious schemes?
Buzz Lightyear: I must pause for a moment of silence in honor of my ship.
XR: Oh, please, Buzz! It was just a hunk of metal!
Mira Nova: OK, and you are...?
XR: In serious need of some personal space.
[over an establishing shot of space]
Title Card: Space... Duh!
Cmdr. Nebula: [about XR] Sweet mother of Venus, what did you do to him?
LGM 1: We, uh, fixed him.
LGM 2: We think.
Warp Darkmatter: [to the LGM he just saved] Any reason you were looking to shake hands with a beast from 20,000 craters?
Agent Z: [during the attack on the LGM homeworld] Agent Z to Zurg... They sent Lightyear.
Evil Emperor Zurg: [on his ship] That's why I sent you.
Mira Nova: [in the shipping dock] Buzz, I have just one thing to say to you.
Buzz Lightyear: And what might that be?
Mira Nova: [ghosts her hand into his head] Goodnight.
Buzz Lightyear: [very woosey, before passing out] Tangian... brain... squeeze.
XR: [plugs into the ship after the bounce landing on Planet Z] uh huh... yes... ok. The Alpha 1 is A.O.K. But it asks that we not DO that again!
Warp Darkmatter: All I know is that we've searched half the Zeta quadrant to find the missing LGM's and what do we find? A lot of nothing!
[a gigantic alien monster rises up from a crater directly behind Warp. He sees Buzz's horrified expression]
Warp Darkmatter: [thumbing over his shouder] There's something really bad behind me, isn't there?
Woody: [looking at Buzz's image on the video cover] You don't look so fat when they draw you that way.
Buzz Lightyear: Buzz Lightyear mission log: We've searched this gaseous planetoid from top to bottom with no sign of the missing personnel.
[car horn honks]
Buzz Lightyear: Hey!
Warp Darkmatter: C'mon, buddy, nobody ever reads those reports!
Buzz Lightyear: Warp, my friend, procedure is what separates us from the wicked forces of chaos.
Warp Darkmatter: Buzz, if it means less paperwork, I'll take chaos.