- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: What's your name, then?
- Virginia: Oh, here we go. It's Virginia. Then Mum says we call her virgin for short, and then you say not for long, all right?
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [turning to Virginia's mother] She's very forward for her age!
- Virginia's Mother: Yes, well we had a French student living with us - she probably got it from him.
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [looks at Virginia, then turns back to face the mother] I wouldn't be at all surprised!
- Captain Ffing-Burke: I don't like it. I don't like it
- Private Parkin: Would you like some corned beef, sir?
- Captain Ffing-Burke: I don't like it at all.
- Private Parkin: Neither do I, but you've got to eat something!
- [Sgt Ball enters the trench, and explains that he was in No-Man's-Land on reconisance]
- Captain Ffing-Burke: Reconisance! That's a darn silly idea!
- Sgt. Ball: You should know - it was yours!
- Private Parkin: There's someone coming!
- Sgt Ball: Leave this to me, sir.
- [aiming his rifle down the trench]
- Sgt Ball: Halt! Who goes there!
- Adelle: [from outside the trench] Amiee?
- Sgt Ball: A couple of frogs, sir. Advance, Amiee, and give the password.
- Adelle: [walking into the trench] Derrière?
- Sgt Ball: Derrière? I said , ?Password?
- Adelle: Oh, pardon, monsieur!
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: Why can't we go back to living like cavemen? I know it was a rough and ready existence - the men where always rough and the women were always ready!
- Anthro Pod: How long have I been asleep?
- Senna Pod: Since October!
- Bodkin Pod: We nearly buried you twice!
- Robin Hood: I shot an arrow in the air, it came to earth, I know not where!
- Friar Tuck: I'll show you!
- [stands up, and turns to reveal the arrow sticking out of his cloak]
- Robin Hood: You should have turned the other cheek!
- Robin Hood: I'll follow you into hell itself.
- Maid Marion: I'm going home to Mother!
- Robin Hood: That's what I just said!
- [Seed Reveals that Crompet is Bodkin's Christmas Present]
- Bodkin Pod: What do I do with it?
- Seed Pod: 19 years old, and he asks, ?What do I do with it?
- Anthro Pod: I'll show you.
- Seed Pod: [bashes Anthro with a club] You will not!
- Anthro Pod: Why not? I taught you everything you know!
- Seed Pod: I don't want you teaching *him* everything I know!
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: My wife hasn't really got a Christmas spirit. When I went into bed last night, guess what she said?
- Mr. Sibley: [referring to his sandwich] Put that wretched thing away!
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: How did you know?
- Bodkin Pod: Why can't we have mammoth, just for a change?
- Senna Pod: It's too expensive!
- Bodkin Pod: It needn't be - in the shop up the road, they're having a mammoth sale!
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [a slap and an exclamation is heard from out of shot] Hello, that's coming from the bedding department!
- Bed Customer: [Walking out and adjusting her jumper] Well, really
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [Noticing Mr Sibley] I might have known!
- Mr. Sibley: How dare you! I was just showing her, how to get an overnight bunk up!
- Virginia: [Climbing onto Santa's knee] Now then, what are you going to give me?
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: Well, you're making it hard for me!
- [Picking up a yellow yo-yo]
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: How about a little yo-yo?
- Virginia: I don't like them!
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: [Putting the yo-yo away and picks up a doll dressed as a fairy] I know - how about a fairy?
- Virginia: Oh, like the one that comes and does mum's hair?
- Santa AKA Mr Belcher: No, no!
- [Puts the fairy back]
- Virginia: He's got a little yo-yo - I've seen it!