Bostock's Cup (1999 TV Movie)

David MacCreedy: Mick Wallace

Quotes 

• Bertie Masson : Three fucking nil, you fucking bunch of fucking useless wankers! They're not even a proper fucking team! They're a bunch of fucking coal men, and they're fucking beating you three fucking nil!

  Alan Hardy : It's not our fault, is it? They've got twelve players playing for them. They've got eleven men and gravity!

  Bertie Masson : What the fuck are you talking about, you fucking bone idle twat?

  Alan Hardy : Fucking gravity is playing for their team, isn't it? Isaac fucking Newton's playing for their team, that's the fucking problem! If you give the ball a little tiny tap on the halfway line, next thing you know it's flying past you into the fucking net.

  Bertie Masson : I have never heard such a fucking load of bloody bollocks in my life!

  Alan Hardy : It's true! Look, in the second half, we can just shoot from fucking anywhere, and we'll score.

  Bertie Masson : You wanna manage the team? You wanna manage the fucking team, Hardy?

  Alan Hardy : Yes, I fucking do!

  Bertie Masson : Well, *I'm* the fucking manager! And god fucking help me, you'll do what I fucking say!

  Alan Hardy : We can't fucking understand a fucking word you're saying!

  Bertie Masson : What the fuck's your problem, lad?

  Mick Wallace : Yeah, what the fuck is your fucking problem?

  Alan Hardy : Oh, it's a fucking joke this is. That's what it is, it's a fucking joke!

  Pontefract referee : [opens the dressing room door]  Alright, come on. Time for the second half, you bunch of fucking cunts.