User Reviews

A quartet of friends with low IQ and high flatulence go to one of their uncle's house. Upon arriving they make themselves at home at his house until someone or something starts to kill them off. Hint it rhymes with lamp pire.

I'm all for giving zero-budget filmmaking a chance, but the flatulence juvenile humor isn't the only thing that stinks to high heaven with this one. And when a film comes that has nudity as unappealing as this one does, that takes some talent.

Eye Candy: Megan (Robin Brown) and Heather (Melissa Montifield) both get fully nude; Lisa (Lia Montilongo) gets topless

Shower of Blood is set in Galloway County where women have been mysteriously disappearing & their cannibalised bodies turning up, a killer is on the loose! Lovers Kurt (Dave Larsen) & Lisa (Lia Montelongo) along with three of their friends, Megan (Robin Brown) who seems to fart a lot, Heather (Melissa Mountifield) & Terry (Peter Renaud) decide to venture in Galloway Woods where the bodies have been found to make an impromptu visit to Lisa's uncle Marty's (Martin Shannon) place & stay the night. Once there there's no sign of uncle Marty so they break in & make themselves comfortable, when uncle Marty does eventually turn up he has an evil secret he's all to keen to share with his unexpected house-guests...

Directed by Tiffany Kilbourne this straight to video/DVD zero budget piece of crap proves that women can make a horror film just as badly as any man. We've all heard of bottom of the barrel Z movies right? Well as far as Shower of Sh*t, sorry Blood goes it's so crap we'd have to invent a 27th letter of the alphabet! The awful script is credited to David C. Hayes, Kyle Kline & Keith Knapp, that's right folks it took three people to write a screenplay this bad... For a start the story is crap & utterly predictable, the pacing is awful & basically nothing happens for what seems like hours, the character's are really bad even by annoying American teen standards & there's nothing here even remotely interesting or entertaining as far as I'm concerned. Call me hard to please & fussy but I actually like my films to have a story, make sense & entertain me, someone tell me am I really asking for too much? The entire first half an hour of Shower of Sh*t, sorry there I go again, Blood consists of arguments between the five annoying teens about who is going to bring their luggage in! Seriously, someone wants some help to bring it in while the other's don't want to help, yep this is exciting stuff folks. The things which happen, or should that be randomly occur, are never explained like who killed Terry & hung him from the tree? How come uncle Marty is a Vampire? Why is this film so bad? This is the sort of crap which is making me lose interest in the horror genre, the genre which I love & always have but when I see this shot on a digital camcorder with amateur actors & crew complete with CGI computer effects that belong in a late 80's Nintendo game like this I lose just a little bit more enthusiasm for the genre that has given me so much pleasure & entertainment over the years & that makes me sad.

Director Kilbourne thinks as long as you make all of your female cast members strip & bare their ample breasts on a regular basis no-one will notice how rotten your film is, she's wrong because I for one noticed. Virtually every conversation or situation in Shower of Sh*t is geared towards getting the female cast to get their breasts out, at one point it's specifically mentioned that uncle Marty has four separate showers in his house just so all the girls have the opportunity to strip & shower whenever they feel like it. The horror elements are poor, it's not scary or atmospheric & there's far more naked breasts on show than blood. Gore wise there's a bitten neck, someone cuts her breast with a straight razor & some Vampire dude drinks from it & that's about it.

Technically the film is a glorified home movie, it looks like it was shot on a digital camcorder & I just hate the look of video rather than proper film. To give it some credit the film is surprisingly well lit on occasion but that's hardly any compensation for sitting through this. The acting is awful from everyone involved.

Shower of Blood is one of those crap films I'd have turned off after half an hour if I wasn't going to review it, in the interest of fairness I stuck it out which wasn't easy & if I had switched it off after thirty minutes I wouldn't have missed anything. Seriously not recommended.

This movie has characters who define the word obnoxious as SHOWER OF BLOOD follows a small group of friends who stay at a house while on vacation. The house is owned by Lisa's(Lia Montelongo) uncle, Marty(Martin Shannon). There's plenty of potty humor with the soundtrack overlaying the movie with farts and burps. Lisa's boyfriend, Kurt(Dave Larsen) likes to smash empty beer cans across his forehead when he's not slapping the asses of all the girls. Terry(Peter Renaud), his girlfriend Heather(Melissa Mountifield), and Megan(Robin Brown)are the other three traveling in Kurt's van. Terry and Kurt like to toss playful(annoying)insults at one another, usually sex related(this sex humor is also used with their girlfriends as well) A sample of some dialogue from this movie:"Mmm..those are some tits I can sink my teeth into". The movie is indeed laced with vulgar comedy and behavior and the girls seem to tolerate such immature antics, accepting that boys will be boys. One thing you do get and that's naked women taking showers. Long lingering takes with the camera sampling the merchandise. Well, one has to wonder why the girls would have anything to do with the guys that are with them on this trip, Kurt and Terry are crude in their non-subtle ways of flirting with the girls. It doesn't take long before Uncle Marty arrives and starts dining on his niece's friends. The audio of the movie amplifies even the most menial sounds, a slap to the face, a character snoring, gum chewing, everything is loud and trying on the patience. After Lisa performs a minor striptease for Kurt, she engages in soft kisses and they find Uncle Marty peeping on them..can someone say, "creepy." Heather doesn't want to put out for Terry(I can understand why)and he isn't a happy camper. Soon Marty no longer hides who he is from Lisa, and uses Kurt as a slave to capture Heather for his undead bride and use Lisa's blood as part of the ceremony. While this movie was a bitch to sit through, it helps that the actresses Mountifield and Montelongo are beautiful, and willing to spend the whole picture scantily clad and/or naked. The low budget shows throughout, like when computer generated lightning bolts are used. There is one erotic scene where Lisa and Kurt engage in softcore sex in the back of his van, but I found few moments which made this movie experience worthwhile.

Shower of Blood is one of the most entertaining films from the Tomb of Terrors 50 "film" set. It's directed by one-time director Tiffany Kilbourne who apparently loves boobs as much as most straight men. It's also possible she had nothing to do with the boob content as there were 3! Male writers on this thing. The movie starts with a very short scene of a woman killed by an unseen assailant. This brief start is necessary because boobs haven't appeared on the screen yet. The opening credits are interspersed with a woman (naked of course) laying in bed smearing blood on her naked body. We then meet the 5 main characters who are mostly unlikable and annoying, sometimes in a comical way. Megan is a disgusting slob, puking all over and farting. She becomes much more likable soon though. They soon arrive at the house of Lisa's (played by sexy Lia Montelongo) uncle. He's not home so they go in anyways. Almost immediately Megan who seemed gross at first strips down to shower. While totally nude she both burps and farts which are just sound effects. This Everest-chested young woman is much more likable without clothes on. Megan showers and bathes in an extended scene to maximize the boob content of the movie. Because there wasn't enough boobs yet during Megan's shower/bath scene we also get Lisa having a dream sequence where she of course showers. This scene would be much sexier if it wasn't shot so darkly. Eventually the shower head poorly morphs into a rose that sprays blood all over Lisa's boobs. While Lisa isn't quite as Himalayan as Megan she's still quite busty wearing a tight white tank top that appropriately says "Superior T's" on it through the entire movie when she's not naked.

The two men in the group are Kurt who has the kind of emphatic voice that makes everything he says come off as jerky. Terry is the other guy who no one really likes, is a virgin, tries too hard to be funny and fails miserably and is called a "fairy" by Kurt. Since boobs haven't appeared on screen for almost 5 minutes Megan strips down in front of the mirror and rubs herself while we hear a voice saying things like "ohhh, those are tits I can sink my teeth into" and "I wanna eat you". This voice turns out to be Lisa's uncle, Marty, who hasn't arrived yet. We get a brief respite from boobs but then go back to Megan laying in a bed totally naked and rubbing herself some more with the Uncle's whispering voice heard some more. It must have been a contractual obligation for all the women who have a significant role here to have a shower scene so we get one from Terry's frigid girlfriend, Heather. While she isn't mountainously endowed like Megan and Lisa they're still respectable. Heather and Terry are interrupted by the just arrived Uncle Marty while making out in the shower, not once but twice. Uncle Marty seems to like showing up at the most inappropriate times.

Megan is still naked in bed rubbing herself so of course Uncle Marty shows up which frightens her a bit at first but doesn't seem to bother her much after that. They continue to converse while she remains nude. We hear Marty's thoughts including "I'll teach her how to suck". I rather doubt she would need that instruction though I guess he could be talking about blood. We also get another brief scene of Heather showering because the movie needed more boobs or something. Uncle Marty ends up ripping out Megan's throat while she sounds like she's orgasming. Because boobs have been absent for about 4 minutes we get Lisa stripping down for a sex scene with Kurt which is of course interrupted by Uncle Marty. Lisa starts having bloody visions, she's now wearing cut off jean shorts to go along with the tight white tank top because the movie wasn't sexy enough or something. Some of the characters have dinner which is Megan while Heather and Terry almost have sex, this scene of course has her breasts on display. There's a poor CG fantasy scene involving Kurt and then it's back to Heather's modest exposed chest. She is attacked by Terry who I guess is a vampire now but is dragged out the window by an unseen force.

Kurt ends up in a chain-filled dungeon and has sex with a large breasted woman who razors her chest so he can drink her blood. I guess he's a vampire now too? Maybe because he ate Megan's flesh? I don't know. The two remaining girls find Terry hung upside down from a tree and he is now dead. Finally the two girls realize Marty is evil and they try to escape. They call 9-1-1 and the woman who answers is of course busty. She is in cahoots with Uncle Marty but inexplicably doesn't get topless. Uncle Marty likes classical music like all psychos who eat human flesh. Lisa ends up in a van with Kurt who seems alright now. Because the movie has been boob-less for like ten minutes they have sex despite her still being in danger. This scene is filmed very dark so it ends up kind of being pointless. Unfortunately the entire movie is pretty dark which hampers the rampant nudity. Since Heather remained a virgin Uncle Marty is now going to sacrifice her in a ceremony. Kurt has turned good now but loses a fight with Uncle Marty and ends up impaled. There's a hilarious overdubbed "hi-yah" as Lisa tries to karate kick Uncle Marty. He slaps her away and quips "ohh, rough crowd!". This is billed as horror and comedy but the comedy (outside of the ineptness) is pretty limited mostly to silly sound effects. Heather stuffs her cross in to Uncle Marty's mouth and he writhes around comically to old timey music. Really awful CG is used to reduce Uncle Marty to a skeleton which explodes and splatters the girls with blood for some reason. The not so surprising twist ending is Lisa has turned vamp now and we hear Heather scream as the movie fades to black.

Shower of Blood is an epic of overly dark filming, comically bad acting and using every opportunity to put boobs on the screen. Only towards the end when they have to wrap things up do boobs not appear on screen for a significant period of time. Martin Shannon is the best actor here with a distinctive, gruff voice. Lia Montelongo is super sexy with her tight, toned, tanned body. The movie lives up to the title having a least three shower scenes including a blood shower and a fair amount of bloodshed. This movie can be easily summed up with one word though- boobs!

This is a movie most folk don't watch for the plot. This review gives away many plot details and as such may be considered a PLOT SPOILER. I do so in an attempt to explain the "genius" of this film for your better enjoyment, or at least some of the attempts at genius.

This movie has a lot of newcomers or else a lot of people who didn't want to use their real name. A couple names that are real: Robin Brown who plays Megan, She was Penthouse Pet of the month for April 1992. Lisa is played by Lia Montelongo, best known as Sindel in the Mortal Combat video games. Heather is played by Melissa Mountifield, most likely a gag name as is Rusty Nails who plays the guy in the dungeon. Tiffany Kilbourne is listed as the director and unless this is her first and last film, that was a fake name to protect a reputation. Martin Shannon plays Uncle Marty. Most like the name Marty was chosen after the first shooting as the cast were forgetting his script name, and just went with Uncle Marty. Hey, we let Princess Laia get called Carrie once.

The opening credit scene is an attention getter. An endowed topless female is being covered with classic rose petals and blood as vampire techno/rave music plays (kudos Dylan Langhoff Moeller for the selection). The radio announces 8 cannibalized bodies have been found in Galloway county...and in other new the finalist for the Miss Tulip festival have been chosen. I like the juxtaposition of the news stories as well as the names "gallow" paints a deathly image while two-lips gives us a sexual image. This is the type of writing one expects from great movies from Harry Potter to the old porno classics. Kudos to the authors, most likely this was the work of comic genius David Hayes who has brought us those classics such as "Blood Orgy of the Damned," "Vampegeddon," "Back Woods" and the unforgettable "Tales of Terror and Love." And when David wasn't busy composing funny lines, he was also the key grip.

Megan, the party girl is barfing from the van. Terry (Peter Renaud from Megan is Missing): "What is that, corn?" Heather: "That's disgusting. Are you alright Megan?" Megan: "Just a few more hurls and I'll be fine."

Terry wears an a t-shirt with "Asylum" on the back. Asylum is infamous for putting out bad horror movies.

When they get to Uncle Marty's house, Megan, former Playboy and Penthouse models says, "Wow, Playboy Mansion." The music playing is a composition that is a cross between America's "Horse with no Name" and Concrete Blonde's "Vampire Song." Super cool. Marty isn't home, so they use the key hidden above the light.

Megan, the hot blond, is totally classless and disgusting. But guys don't care, she has a rack. She gives us the movie's first gratuitous shower scene. At this point the genius digresses into simpleton slurp, lip-smack, fart, and barf humor.

Lia Montelongo quickly gives us a second shower scene (no tan lines) as she is hears high pitch noises and goes into a trance state, one that requires her to get naked and take a shower. The shower head turns into a rose petal that dispenses blood. This ties us into the scene of the opening credits, for those who would exclaim that was just a gratuitous nude scene! Ha!

The entrance foyer changes. In the beginning it is fairly empty except for the gum ball machine that dispenses blue balls. Later there is a bicycle on the wall as well as an end table with a vase of roses on it.

The two guys Terry and Kurt (Dave Larsen) are immature oversexed bad actors who want to make it with everyone even though Heather is Terry's gf and Lisa is Kurt's gf. Lisa is also the niece of Uncle Marty.

After some immature humor, (the genius has worn off) Heather needs to take a shower (faint tan lines) to get the Megan barf smell off of her.

Marty, the vampire and actor in this film finally shows up and manages to walk in on every girl naked, including his niece, Lia Montelongo who does a strip tease.

While discussing family history, Heather, our other blond remarks, "Hey I like gynecology too!" This was an attempt to recover from a large wave of sophomoric humor which bogged down much of the story. During the meal there are some cannibal jokes, which is interrupted by switching scenes to Heather and Terry making love. (2-3 nude scenes per girl)

At one point Uncle Marty plays some classical music the girls mistake for Mozart. Marty explains that it is Langhoff Moeller, who is the actual composer mentioned in the credits and the movie's adr supervisor, music supervisor and music editor.

Just when you think the gratuitous shots are over, Kurt goes to the dungeon where Uncle Marty has two lovely females. Laura Beverly (only movie credit) gives us another silicon shot along with a peak at her tramp stamp. (Megan looked like she had her tramp stamp removed.)

Of course sometimes less is more:

911 Operator( Kirsten "cleavage" Gibson) : "911, what seems to be the problem?"

Heather: "Vampires."

Heather finally has a love scene with Kurt, which resembles soft porn, or would if it wasn't so dark. Lia Montelongo appears to keep her g-string on the whole movie. Evil is tying a person down and making them listen to "Roll out the Barrel" on a player piano while a vampire snaps his fingers to it.

Who lives, who dies? I didn't spoil that for you, as if you care.