- [Old opening lines]
- Eddie McDowd: I'm Eddie McDowd, I'm a dog, and I talk. I used to be a kid, a bad kid, but then I mess with the wrong guy... . He turned me into a dog. Can you believe this? That freak turned me into a dog! To be a kid again I have to do 100 good deeds, and the only person who can hear me talk is the last person I picked on. Now I'm living with this kid in this family, they love me! but they treat me like a dog.