- A pair of buddies conspire to save their best friend from marrying the wrong woman.
- Two dim-witted former high school buddys and Neil Diamond fanactics, Wayne and J.D., plot to keep their friend Darren from marrying the wrong woman, a domineering and spiteful psychologist named Judith by kidnapping her and trying to set Darren up with his old high school girlfriend Sandy who plans to become a nun.—Matthew Patay
- Darren, JD, and Wayne are best friends and Neil Diamond fanatics. Their lives are going well up until Darren begins a relationship with Judith, an a tyrannical psychologist who forces him to cut his ties with JD and Wayne. When JD and Wayne learn that Darren and Judith are engaged, they come up with a plan to kidnap Judith and hook Darren up with his high school love, Sandy. However, Judith is always one step ahead of the two bozos.—Sam
- Darren Silverman, Wayne LeFessier, and J.D. McNugent, lovable losers, have been best friends since the fifth grade, Darren the hopeless romantic, Wayne the one whose thoughts of grandeur always fall short, and J.D. the socially unaware, slightly overweight one who is always sidetracked by food. Something that ties them together is their love of all things Neil Diamond, they performing covers of his songs in their tribute band. Darren has always felt that Sandy Perkis, the two who were on the cheerleading squad together in high school, was the only woman for him, he, never acting on his feelings, missing his chance with her when she and her circus family moved away. However, he believes he has met his new soul mate in the form of beautiful psychologist, Judith Fessbeggler. In his love for her, he cannot see that she is a controlling b****, she only wanting him as her sexless slave. Part of that control is wanting Wayne and J.D., who she considers pigs, out of Darren's life. Not wanting to lose their friend to who they can see is an evil woman, Wayne and J.D. do whatever they can for Judith to exit Darren's life, if not on her own volition, then forcibly. On the flip side, they have to make Darren forget about her, which they believe is easier if there is another woman on the horizon, the most likely candidate in their minds being Sandy. Sometimes not having the moxie to do what they need to do to carry out their rough sketch of a plan, they enlist the help of who was Wayne's high school football coach, Mr. Norton, the type of man who will use a machete when a pen knife is more appropriate.—Huggo
- Darren, J.D. & Wayne have been best friends since the fifth grade. They are Neil Diamond fanatics and even have a cover band. Darren, still looking for the right one meets Judith, a psychologist who tries to "whip" Darren. She decides to force Darren to dump J.D. & Wayne as his best friends as well as breaking up their band. After hearing about Darren's engagement to Judith, the decide to kidnap Judith, and try to set Darren back up with his old flame, Sandy before she becomes a nun and Darren marries Mrs. Wrong!!!—Ryan Harder <hotshotharder@hotmail.com>
- Neil Diamond is the man of this film and is what brings the group of friends together, Darren Silverman (Jason Biggs), Wayne Lefessier (Steve Zahn) and J.D McNugget (Jack Black).
When the group have just finished performing a song from their Neil Diamond tribute band they go to a bar to relax. A woman walks in and Wayne and J.D persuade Darren to go try and talk to her. He goes after a little more persuasion (lying) from Wayne who says she 'wants him'. She quickly denies him and he accidently leaves his bottle of beer on the table. Another, more repulsive, man comes over to try and hit on her and Darren comes back for his beer where the woman sits him down and pretends he is her boyfriend just to get rid of the other man. They spend the night talking and eventually end up in a realtionship. However, Darren's realtionship with Judith (Amanda Peet) means he spends no time at all now with his two best friends. Darren tries to get Judith and his friends to become aquainted and perhaps even become friends but this plan is a disaster and leaves Wayne and J.D with no Darren. They come up with several different ideas to try and get Darren back including 'cheating' photographs and breaking and entering. All of these plans are foiled but there is one plan that they hope will work. In high school Darren was in love with another girl, Sandy Perkus (Amanda Detmer) and she is back in town so the two guys try to persuade her and Darren to get back together. Then they kidnap Judith and tell Darren she is dead so that he will get back together with Sandy and they can all be friends again. But Judith knows it is Wayne and J.D that have kidnapped her so she eventually figures out a way to get out and when she does she sees that Sandy and Darren are back together but Darren had promised Judith they would get married so they still carry on with the wedding after Sandy runs away to finish becoming a nun. Wayne and J.D are put in jail for kidnapping but are then broken out by their former gym teacher, they then go and stop Sandy from becoming a nun and tell her Darren still loves her, then they kidnap Neil Diamond in the assumption that he will help get them back together and then they go to the wedding. Neil Diamond plays for them and Darren realises the error of his ways and goes back to Sandy. Judith, heartbroken, then turns and goes with Wayne, and J.D and the coach admit that they are gay and they go together. On stage that night Neil Diamond weds Darren and Sandy, Wayne and Judith, and J.D and the coach. The film ends on a humourosly happy ending.
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