Die Another Day (2002)
John Cleese: Q
Photos
Quotes
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James Bond : You must be joking.
Q : As I learned from my predecessor, Bond, I never joke about my work.
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[Q and Bond enter Q's office as Bond looks around at the vast array of devices left over from previous cases]
James Bond : So, this is where they keep the old relics, then, eh?
Q : I'll have you know our TOP cutting-edge technology is designed here.
James Bond : [releasing the knife from the briefcase used in the From Russia With Love affair and fingering a blade] Point taken...
Q : Must you touch everything?
James Bond : [seeing his Thunderball jet pack] Hey, does this still work?
[James activates the jet pack, and Q struggles to subdue it]
Q : Now look...
James Bond : [holding up the knife-studded shoe worn by Rosa Klebb years ago] So where is this cutting-edge stuff?
Q : I'm trying to get to it.
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Miss Moneypenny : [Moneypenny is typing a disinformative newspaper report in her office, when 007 walks in] James!
James Bond : Moneypenny.
[Bond and Moneypenny embrace and kiss. Bond lays Moneypenny out on her desk]
Miss Moneypenny : Oh, James...
[Continue kissing, when all of a sudden...]
Q : [walking in] Moneypenny?
[Moneypenny sits up abruptly and removes a pair of virtual reality simulation centre glasses]
Miss Moneypenny : Um... I was... um... just testing it out.
[She blushes and buttons her blouse]
Q : Oh, it's rather hard, isn't it?
Miss Moneypenny : Yes... very...
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James Bond : Check the tape. You'll find he's dead and she only has a flesh wound.
Q : There's always an excuse, isn't there, Double-O-Zero?
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James Bond : You know, you're cleverer than you look.
Q : Still, better than looking cleverer than you are.
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Q : [Explaining the Aston Martin] ... Your new transportation
[nothing visible on the platform]
James Bond : I think you've been down here too long...
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Q : Now, a new watch. This should be your 20th, I believe.
James Bond : How time flies.
Q : Yes, well 007, why don't you establish a record by actually returning this one.
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James Bond : Give me the old fashioned target range, Quartermaster.
Q : Yes, well, it's called the future, so get used to it.
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Q : I wish I could make you vanish.
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Q : [Explaining to Bond his new "adaptive camouflage" Aston Martin] To the casual eye, it's as good as invisible. Plus all the usual refinements: eject seat torpedoes, target seeking shotguns to shoot down mobile objects.
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Q : [after a virtual reality shootout exercise] Forgive my mentioning 007 but a perfect marksman isn't really supposed to shoot his own boss.
James Bond : Check the replay. You'll find he's dead and she's only got a flesh wound.
Q : There's always an excuse, isn't there, 00-zero.