Super Troopers (2001)

Paul Soter: Foster

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Foster and Mac have pulled a man over for speeding and are deciding what game to play] 

  Mac : All right, how about "Cat Game?"

  Foster : Cat Game? What's the record?

  Mac : Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.

  Foster : Ten? Starting right 'meow?'

  [Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side] 

  Larry Johnson : Sorry about the...

  Foster : All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration.

  [the man hands him his license] 

  Foster : Your registration? Hurry up meow. (2)

  [Mac ticks off two fingers] 

  Larry Johnson : Sorry.

  [the man laughs a little] 

  Foster : Is there something funny here boy?

  Larry Johnson : Oh, no.

  Foster : Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?

  [pause] 

  Foster : All right meow, (3) where were we?

  Larry Johnson : Excuse me, are you saying meow?

  Foster : Am I saying meow?

  [Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an "eehhh" facial expression, as he is considering the last one] 

  Larry Johnson : I thought...

  Foster : Don't think boy. Meow, (4) do you know how fast you were going?

  [man laughs] 

  Foster : Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?

  Larry Johnson : I could have sworn you said meow.

  Foster : Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?

  [Mac is gut-busting laughing] 

  Foster : Am I drinking milk from a saucer?

  [feigned anger] 

  Foster : Do you see me eating mice?

  Foster : [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now]  You stop laughing right meow! (6)

  Larry Johnson : [the man stops and swallows hard]  Yes sir.

  Foster : Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. (8) It's the law.

  [rips off the ticket and hands it to the man] 

  Foster : Not so funny meow, (9) is it?

  Foster : [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows]  Meow! (10)

• Mac : But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun!

  Thorny : [referring to Farva]  Yeah, and his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

  Foster : [after a pause]  Which... makes them not really shenanigans at all.

  Mac : [in a silly voice]  Evil shenanigans!

• [Mac gets shot in the crotch while wearing the steel cup] 

  Foster : How you feelin' there, Mac?

  Mac : Good enough... to fuck... your mother.

• Mac : And that was the second time I got crabs.

  Foster : Awesome.

  Thorny : Afternoon.

  Mac : Hey.

  Foster : Hey.

  Thorny : It stinks like sex in here.

• Foster : Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?

• Ursula : You're not going to tell anybody about this?

  Foster : I already told my mom.

• [Ursula meets Foster at a restaurant. Ursula is dressed as a biker, Foster is dressed as a cyclist] 

  Foster : Ah, biker. I'm such an idiot.

• Ursula : [talking into voice filter]  Freeze motherfucker.

  Foster : Oh, god, please don't shoot me. I'm naked.

  Ursula : Drop your coat and grab your toes.

  Foster : What?

  Ursula : I'm gonna show you where the wild goos goes.

  Foster : Uh, this isn't happening. I'm a police officer. Ursula, help.

  Ursula : Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread.

  [Foster turns, sees Ursula is "holding him up"] 

  Ursula : [still talking into the voice filter]  You don't have these at your station?

  Foster : [grabs the voice filtrator, and speaks into it]  I don't suppose you have a fresh pair of underwear I can borrow?

  Ursula : I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.

• Foster : [explaining his low number of citations issued]  I can't make them speed.

  Captain O'Hagan : Try hiding.

• Thorny : Where are your shoes?

  Foster : What are you, the shoe police?

  Thorny : I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar.

  Foster : Black magic only works on the rookie.

  Thorny : That's brown magic.

• Foster : Okie silly dilly dokie-o. I'm an idiot.

  Mac : That's true.

• Foster : We could be like Cagney and Lacey.

  Ursula : Right. Except Cagney and Lacey were both women.

  [beat] 

  Foster : I could be Lacey.

• Foster : You crapped on my heart.

• Foster : [Drunk]  Hey, so, Ursula, what's uh, what's goin' on?

  Ursula : Don't use that boyfriend voice with me.

• Captain O'Hagan : What's the significance of this John Chimpo fella?

  Foster : You know those really cheap Japanese cartoons? No? This is basically a cheaper, Afgahni knockoff. It's this monkey that basically travels around the world, doing nasty things. His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh... no.

  Rabbit : It's really funny, Cap. It's Afghanistanimation!

  Captain O'Hagan : The monkey has a butler? Great. Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny?

  Thorny : How the hell should I know?

• Officer Smy : [to Ursula]  If you were my wife, I'd take you down a peg or two.

  [to Foster] 

  Officer Smy : Hey douche bag.

  Foster : [to Ursula]  If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet 'til you fell asleep.

  Ursula : Nice try.

• Foster : Ain't so funny meow is it?