Fatty Drives the Bus (1999)

Ed Furman: Mr. Zodsworth

Quotes 

• Mrs. Zodsworth : Oh... our beautiful home.

  Mr. Zodsworth : I remember when all you could see was barley, and giant lizards roamed the earth.

  Mrs. Zodsworth : That wasn't here. That was somewhere else.

  Mr. Zodsworth : [checks his watch]  Let's go to the city.

• Mr. Zodsworth : First thing you know, you're getting off a bus. Then the next thing, you're eating rice out of a human skull.

• Mr. Zodsworth : It's almost like we stumbled into some kinda mashed potato convention.

• Molly : [outside Wrigley Field]  Do they play baseball here?

  Satan : Yes.

  Sam : Can I go on the field today?

  Satan : I'm sorry, no.

  Lana : What year was it built?

  Satan : Uh, 19

  [mumble mumble] 

  Satan : .

  Bud : Is there a bathroom here?

  Satan : Around the corner to the left - watch your butt.

  Martin : Is there a game today?

  Satan : There are 14 games today, all 28 major league teams will be in action, none of it will be taking place in this building.

  Mamie : Do you have an emery board?

  Satan : Yes.

  [he pulls an emery board out of his shirt pocket] 

  Chuck : Do you prefer couches to armchairs?

  Satan : Depends on what I'm doing. If I'm lounging with a book, I might.

  Mr. Zodsworth : [while still aboard the bus]  Didn't you once have a lizard?

  Satan : Yes, and his name was 'Bubbles.'

  Bridget : Yeah, do the Cubs need a new ballgirl?

  Satan : I don't care.

• Mr. Zodsworth : Are squirrels rapists?

• Mr. Zodsworth : Did you take that head out of the freezer?

  Mrs. Zodsworth : Would you forget about that head?

  Mr. Zodsworth : [rubs his forehead, then smacks it and thinks]  Did you take that head out of the freezer?

  Mrs. Zodsworth : Would you forget about that head?