- Jack Maggot: Had money for the first time. Got a little crazy, implemented the 'no clothes on a bitch' rule.
- Trey: If pills or analysis won't do, at least find the church.
- Jack Maggot: Medical books I believe refer to that as a vagina.
- Lenore Watson: This is no ordinary vagina, Mr. Maggot.
- Heather Dombrowski: Then some frat boys wanted to put it in my butt. Told 'em to go across the street and talk to queer Derrick or his brother, Eric.
- Jack Maggot: If there's one thing in the world I can't stand, it's accomplishment. I mean, once you've done something right, what the hell's the point?
- Jack Maggot: Name's Jack Maggot, professional killer. Did I mention I also write short stories? Well, don't get too excited. Nobody in the world gives a damn.