R.S.V.P. (I) (2002)

Glenn Quinn: Prof. Hal Evans, phd.

Quotes 

• Nick : You look like one man who could use a drink.

  Hal Evans : You have no idea.

• Nick : What exactly is the object of this game?

  Hal Evans : Where's Jim?

  Nick : He's not here yet.

  Hal Evans : No, stupid, that's the object of the game.

• Hal Evans : Bandiero.

  Skyles : What the fuck are you, Irish or Spanish?

• Hal Evans : Now, I could be famous by sunrise if I really wanted to.

  Jordan : Oh really? And how's that?

  Hal Evans : I'd kill everyone in this room.

• Skyles : What is the correlation here between this freak and death?

  Hal Evans : A, I readily concede that I am a freak, right, and B, death is just this particular freak's hobby and occupation.

• Hal Evans : [To Nick]  Ten people dead without anyone sayin' a word. I mean, it's downright impressive. I imagine I'll be teaching it real soon. So don't get me wrong pal when I say that you're a crazy mother fucker and they're going to fry your ass.

• Hal Evans : [To Jordan]  In case you haven't noticed, that crazy fuck out there's got a gun, and I... we DON'T! Just look around for a weapon.

  [Jordan holds the base of a lamp] 

  Hal Evans : . A REAL WEAPON!

• [Nick is pointing the gun at Hal and Jordan] 

  Hal : You know, for a big brain Nick, you're awfully fucking stupid.

  Nick : Smart enough to beat you.

  Hal : *Beat?* Hah! Shit, boy! Did you ever stop for fucking one goddamn minute and take a good arm's length look at the fucking situation, eh? You're nothin' but a show, my friend - a little experiment that I've privately undertaken, that I readily admit's gone a *wee* bit wrong. Right, question: how much bullshit do I have to fill an overly-intelligent, but fucking emotionally retarded kid's head with before he steps, or in Nick's case *leaps*, with both feet *and* a kitchen sink, over the edge?

  Jordan : Evidentally, not fucking much!

  Hal : Just whispered fucking sweet nothings about murder and mayhem into his ear and three semesters later, he's got his best friend stuffed into a box, man. Jesus, kid, wake the fuck up! You're not in control here, I am, always have been!