Bend It Like Beckham (2002)

Juliet Stevenson: Paula Paxton

Quotes 

• Paula : Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!

• Jules : Me and Jess were fighting because we both fancy our coach... Joe.

  Paula : [pause]  Joe, a man, Joe?

  Jules : [exasperated]  Yeah, as in male, Joe! Joe, our coach, Joe, man, Joe!

• Paula : All I'm saying is, there's a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella!

• Paula : Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.

• Jules : Anyway being a lesbian's not that big a deal

  Paula : Oh no of course not sweetheart no. I mean I've got nothing against it. I was cheering for Martina Navratilova as much as the next person.

• Paula : That's why she's been so depressed lately cos' that Jess broke her heart! She's in love. With a girl!

  Alan Paxton : You're jumping to all the wrong conclusions

  Paula : But I heard her! No wonder she never looked twice at the Kevin or brought any boys home. I tried to get her nice clothes, you know we've had some lovely prints in this summer you know in swimwear and sarongs and that. She never wants to go shopping with me. It was terrible what they did to that George Michael going on about him and his private business in the papers like that! Oh No!

  Alan Paxton : George Michael is still a superstar and you still listen to Wham!

• Paula : When are you going to realize you have a daughter, with breasts, not a son!

• Paula : You know Jesminder, I cooked a lovely curry the other day.

• Paula : No boy's gonna go out with a girl who's got bigger muscles than him!

• Paula : You blow 'em up, just like a lilo. Look, this little pump comes free with it. Pop it in the valve, pump away, up it goes, then slip it back in there and boom! Cleavage! They're perfect while you're still growing 'cause they lift you right there.

  Jules : Mum! God, you're so embarrassing!

  Paula : They make more of what you've got, sweetheart. All the girls have bought one for their daughters. The Fleur's pretty, and the gel bra's a clever one - no pumping, it's already in there.

• Paula : Not the sports bras! They're so plain! They don't enhance.

• Paula : Oh, will you both pack it in! Look at the state of my fuchsias!