- Vi: I can't seem to get the hang of any of you. You have no patience with me, and I had years of patience with you. You buy things with plastic cards and you drink champagne whenever you feel like it and you do all that because of me. Because I made sure you'd get somewhere.
- Mary: Your idea of getting somewhere was marrying a dentist in a sheepskin coat from the Rotary Club.
- Vi: You invent these versions of me and I don't recognize myself.
- Catherine: What is it with men? I mean I don't have a problem with them or anything. I love men. I've been to bed with seventy eight of them, I counted. So obviously there isn't a problem.
- Teresa: You see? We're our mother's daughters. Always take the man's side, even when he is a complete pile of crap. Our father, Mike, hardly spoke to our mother during the forty eight years they were married.
- Mary: Somebody take the whiskey from her.
- Teresa: He was like a professional mute, and fucking someone else for most of the time.
- Frank: I'm going to give Mike some friendly advice. Stay with your wife and don't marry into this family. Worse than the Borgias.
- Teresa: You're a whole repertoire of silences, aren't you? Your silences are the most eloquent thing about you.
- [an ice cream van is towing the broken down hearse to the graveyard]
- Catherine: Poor Mum. Even her funeral is a cock up.
- Vi: Don't walk away from me, you've done that all your life. I don't know how this happened. I look at you and I think you've come out wrong. All of you. You seem like nice personable people, but I don't know what you've got to do with me.
- Frank: I hate selling things. Specifically, I hate selling things that people don't want and I don't believe in.
- Teresa: Tell me this, when are you going to do the decent thing? When are you going to leave your wife and mary my sister?
- Catherine: I went to this counselor, or this... thearpist... did I tell you this? And she said I have this problem, that I give too much, I'm just... I'm a very giving person and I never get any credit for it. Not that I ever got any friends. I mean I have, but I don't really like them. And I try, really hard.