We Know Where You Live. Live! (2001 TV Movie)

Phill Jupitus: Self

Quotes 

• Phill Jupitus : Big mistake, I bought the Blair Witch Project the other day. Am I alone in thinking this is the biggest piece of shit ever committed to celluloid?

• Phill Jupitus : I'm in a bit of a shitty mood, because I'm a dad right, yes, someone has fucked me sir. I've got a bit of a situation at home, my eldest daughter brought a boy home for the first time. And I think it's safe to say I reacted rather badly. She said, "Hello Dad, this is Billy." I said, "Billy? Billy is it?" and I went up to this person and said, "If you so much as fucking touch her I'll cut you." This Billy started crying. Still that's seven year olds for you.

• Phill Jupitus : I'm at the vinegar strokes of my act now

  [water bottle flies through the air at him. Phill looks offstage and waves] 

  Phill Jupitus : Hello. Was that full? What of? Piss? Very nice. How do you put that in your diary? 'Dear Diary, Eddie Izzard threw a bottle of evian at me today'.

• Phill Jupitus : Ewan McGregor as Obe Wan Kenobi... It's an odd bit of casting

  [in a broad scottish accent] 

  Phill Jupitus : Alright! I'm Obe Wan Kenobi, I'm a Jedi... If anyone from Trainspotting should have been the young Obe Wan Kenobi, it should have been Begbie

  [shouts] 

  Phill Jupitus : "some cunt has blown up this lass's planet. And I'm no leaving until I've found out who did it".