User Reviews

THE HAWK & THE DOVE is one of the better films I've seen from Scots director Robbie Moffat. That doesn't make it good, exactly, just not as bad as a lot of his output. This one's a contemporary drama so a bit more realistic than his endless historical costume outings. It's a low key romantic drama with naturalistic performances and some decent landscape shots and the like. Hardly the kind of indie to set the world on fire, but not totally unwatchable.

If you thought Plan 9 From Outer Space was awful try and get your hands on a copy of this baby. From its shoddy production values to its embarrassing performances, The Hawk and the Dove is a masterclass in film-making ineptitude. The plot, such as it is, centres on a mild-mannered, bespectacled book-keeper - Harry - who flees to a remote Scottish outpost with a briefcase full of money he's liberated from his gangster clients. Helping him to spend it is Ebony, a prostitute who, for reasons that are never explained, has decided to come along for the ride.

Somewhat obligingly, the various gangsters Harry has ripped off - a Glasgow hard-man, a Dutch drug dealer and a Russian femme fatale - all decide to let him know they are coming for him by sending him a postcard with a black spot on it (how they know where to find them is, again, never explained). Rather than run, Harry decides to stay and face them. With the help of Ebony, they manage to overcome each of their pursuers one-by-one and live happily ever after.

The Hawk and the Dove is one of those films that is so bad it is almost good. That said, if I could have rated it a zero it would still have been way too generous. Seeing is believing.

If you're a fan of films that are so poorly executed in almost every respect that you can find yourself unable to comprehend how the filmmaker sleeps at night, then you're in for a real treat with this little number. These poor performers are being exploited to the most potent extreme. And it's not funny. It's criminal! As if the numerous gaps in sound, continuity errors, and diabolical camera work were not enough to bring up your popcorn, the seemingly simple plot is crucified with numerous major character flaws and unjustified story developments.

Harry, our dashing hero, seemingly incapable of any wrong doing and, I quote 'As exciting as the last tissue in a public toilet' is on the run from 3 crooked gangsters, after he got a little Pi**ed off with being their monkey boy. So he takes off to a quiet seaside resort with fun loving fiancé Ebony for a little bit of hotel room gymnastics and a spot of sunshine. All seems just peachy until the three wise monkeys pay him a little visit looking to even the score and their wandering cash. Their telepathic powers are never explained, but old Harry boy is so dull and incompetent that you kind of get the impression that its just as well he has nothing going for him upstairs otherwise he would be dangerous. Instead of run, he stays put and potters around the landscape awaiting their arrival. No chemistry, no talent and no wonder this film get 1 out of 10. I am feeling generous

Avoid at every cost.

I disagree with the previous 2 comments. Have these people ever made a film before? Don't they know how hard it is? They can't compare a film like this with films made in Hollywood. The film is a competent thriller and tells a story about an accountant whose tired of being taken for granted and appears as though he's not very bright or exciting for that matter. However, Harry cons everybody and we soon learn he is psychotic, luring all his former employers into his web, so he can exterminate them. Good soundtrack helps the movie and there are some scenes that are better than others but overall I found it very watchable.