- Pa Grape: Ahoy there mateys! Welcome aboard the ship of the Pirates who Don't Do Anything.
- Larry the Cucumber: Nothing.
- Mr. Lunt: Zilch.
- Larry the Cucumber: Nada.
- Pa Grape: Not so fast you lazies! Today we're doing a little something.
- Larry the Cucumber: Not again!
- Mr. Lunt: We did something yesterday!
- Pa Grape: All you did was order Chinese.
- Mr. Lunt: Hey! It's hard to say 'moo goo gai pan'. Whoops! I did it again. I'm beat.
- The Astonishing Contraption of Silliness: Number seven. The Dance of the Yodeling Cebu Lips.
- Pa Grape: Hold it! Stop the countdown! I don't understand. There must be some mistake! I think perhaps the Astonishing Contraption of Silliness may need some recalibrating. This oughta do it.
- [Pa Grape hits the Astonishing Contraption of Silliness with a wooden mallet]
- The Astonishing Contraption of Silliness: Number seven. The Water Buffalo Song.
- Pa Grape: Oh, that's a nice one. The grandfather of silly songs. The one that started the whole thing. Let's pause for a moment of respect, shall we?
- [they wait two seconds]
- Pa Grape: That's enough. Hit it!
- [Larry the Cucumber hits the Astonishing Contraption of Silliness with his head]
- Mr. Lunt: Hey... I smell something fishy.
- Pa Grape: Uh, that's your friend.
- [Larry the Cucumber offers some Chinese food]
- Larry the Cucumber: Kung pao squid?
- Mr. Lunt: Uh... no.
- [about the "Pirates who Don't Do Anything" song]
- Pa Grape: It sure beats the Forgive-a-matic.
- Archibald Asparagus: I heard that!
- Mr. Lunt: I think you look like Captain Crunch!
- Pa Grape: Huh? No I don't!
- Mr. Lunt: Do too!
- Pa Grape: Do not!
- Mr. Lunt: You're making me hungry.
- Pa Grape: That's it! You're walking the plank!
- Mr. Lunt: Says who?
- Pa Grape: Says the captain, that's who!
- Mr. Lunt: Oh yeah? Aye-aye, Captain Crunch! Hehehehe!
- Pa Grape: Arrrrrrrgh!
- Mr. Lunt: Yikes!
- The Astonishing Contraption of Silliness: Number four. The Song of the Water Buffalo Who Don't Love Cebu With Yodeling Lips.
- Pa Grape: Wait a minute! Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. It appears we're experiencing technical difficulties once again.
- Pa Grape: [to Larry and Mr. Lunt] Buy me some time.
- Mr. Lunt: Huh?
- Larry the Cucumber: What are we supposed to do?
- Pa Grape: I don't know. Think of something!
- Pa Grape: [Pa goes to work on the machine] Come up with another one of those Silly Songs you're so famous for!
- Larry the Cucumber: But... I didn't prepare anything.
- Pa Grape: Oh, for Pete's sake.
- Pa Grape: [Pa hands Larry a menu of Chinese takeout] Here. Use this!