Growing up in rural West Salem, Wisconsin, attending classes at West Salem Elementary, it was clear the budget went to things like the new playground, different cafeteria options, better software in the LMC and, eventually, Smart Boards. Before the days of Smart Boards and teachers cowering to the thought of navigating a giant, un-callibrated touch screen, however, there was Lollipop Dragon.
"What in the name of God's green earth are you talking about," you must be wondering. I assure you, I'm lucid and sober. Lollipop Dragon was a character that appeared in several educational filmstrips (those things that showed illustrations synced up to a record or audio track that went "DING!" or "BEEP!" whenever it was time to show the next illustration) that explained concepts such as reading analog clocks, basic math or even vague, abstract concepts such as how to count change or the importance Mother's Day. The deep-voiced, sonorous Lollipop Dragon spouted wisdom at the adorable Prince Hubert and Princess Gwendolyn and made life peaceful and remarkably educated in the Kingdom of Tumtum (yes, that's its actual name, and no, I could not find any "Tumtum" brand Lollipops anywhere and you haven't the ability to conceive how immeasurably disappointed I am about that).
Nostalgic as these were, part of me only remembered the image of the weirdly cubist-styled dragon and the Pavlovian page-turning response to dings and beeps echoing like ancestral instincts in the back of my mind until I spotted a clip of this movie floating around online titled, "HOW TO TURN A BAD TRIP INTO A GOOD TIME!" on YouTube (thank you, Everything is Terrible, for curing my childhood amnesia). True to its name, this movie takes a premise that, on paper, sounds like the end result of giving a toddler LSD and chasing it down with Ecstasy. The Magic Lollipop Adventure plays out like if Candyland were a Dungeons and Dragons campaign: Baron Badblood (I'm to assume that's his real birth-given name and title) kidnaps Blue-Eyes (who is not the blue dragon, nor is she a White Dragon what like the ones owned by Seto Kaiba), Glider (the blue one) and Cosmo (the yellow one, they do a poor job explaining this in the movie), who were about to use the Magic Lollipop to purify the waters of a sacred well out of which is drawn the water used to make "the most delicious lollipops in the world", using the power of a Magic Mirror. Lollipop Dragon, Prince Hubert and Princess Gwendolyn (the only things other than the setting that are drawn straight from the original filmstrips and books) are naturally sent to rescue them and bring back the Magic Lollipop.
I really don't want to spoil the rest, because a lot of the charms of this movie are best experienced on a first-watch. Unfortunately, I cannot in good consciousness recommend this movie for a second viewing alone; it's best to get a like-minded friend or some children in the family to watch this with you a second time, in order to enjoy it more. If you loved the Lollipop Dragon stuff as a kid, you'll have a good time watching this and reminiscing about those old filmstrips and books, though a word of warning: This movie, and it's sequel (against all odds, this movie got a sequel), do not really follow the original filmstrips or books much from what I remember and can gather. I'm truly sorry, but if you were wanting to watch this hoping it would teach you how to read analog clocks or why you should celebrate Mother's Day, you won't find much help here. Luckily, it's a great way to re-introduce yourself to the characters of the teaching aids you might just remember seeing in your classroom as a kid.
"What in the name of God's green earth are you talking about," you must be wondering. I assure you, I'm lucid and sober. Lollipop Dragon was a character that appeared in several educational filmstrips (those things that showed illustrations synced up to a record or audio track that went "DING!" or "BEEP!" whenever it was time to show the next illustration) that explained concepts such as reading analog clocks, basic math or even vague, abstract concepts such as how to count change or the importance Mother's Day. The deep-voiced, sonorous Lollipop Dragon spouted wisdom at the adorable Prince Hubert and Princess Gwendolyn and made life peaceful and remarkably educated in the Kingdom of Tumtum (yes, that's its actual name, and no, I could not find any "Tumtum" brand Lollipops anywhere and you haven't the ability to conceive how immeasurably disappointed I am about that).
Nostalgic as these were, part of me only remembered the image of the weirdly cubist-styled dragon and the Pavlovian page-turning response to dings and beeps echoing like ancestral instincts in the back of my mind until I spotted a clip of this movie floating around online titled, "HOW TO TURN A BAD TRIP INTO A GOOD TIME!" on YouTube (thank you, Everything is Terrible, for curing my childhood amnesia). True to its name, this movie takes a premise that, on paper, sounds like the end result of giving a toddler LSD and chasing it down with Ecstasy. The Magic Lollipop Adventure plays out like if Candyland were a Dungeons and Dragons campaign: Baron Badblood (I'm to assume that's his real birth-given name and title) kidnaps Blue-Eyes (who is not the blue dragon, nor is she a White Dragon what like the ones owned by Seto Kaiba), Glider (the blue one) and Cosmo (the yellow one, they do a poor job explaining this in the movie), who were about to use the Magic Lollipop to purify the waters of a sacred well out of which is drawn the water used to make "the most delicious lollipops in the world", using the power of a Magic Mirror. Lollipop Dragon, Prince Hubert and Princess Gwendolyn (the only things other than the setting that are drawn straight from the original filmstrips and books) are naturally sent to rescue them and bring back the Magic Lollipop.
I really don't want to spoil the rest, because a lot of the charms of this movie are best experienced on a first-watch. Unfortunately, I cannot in good consciousness recommend this movie for a second viewing alone; it's best to get a like-minded friend or some children in the family to watch this with you a second time, in order to enjoy it more. If you loved the Lollipop Dragon stuff as a kid, you'll have a good time watching this and reminiscing about those old filmstrips and books, though a word of warning: This movie, and it's sequel (against all odds, this movie got a sequel), do not really follow the original filmstrips or books much from what I remember and can gather. I'm truly sorry, but if you were wanting to watch this hoping it would teach you how to read analog clocks or why you should celebrate Mother's Day, you won't find much help here. Luckily, it's a great way to re-introduce yourself to the characters of the teaching aids you might just remember seeing in your classroom as a kid.
