- Professor T. Bird: Did the nasty Queen not play fair? Ah shame... now get back in there and bust some pork!
- Professor T. Bird: [picked at random; as you start Level 7] Looks like the Dark Queen's got a warm reception planned for the Battletoads!
- Professor T. Bird: [picked at random; as you start Level 2] Watch out, 'toads! There's bound to be a whole toad-load of trouble down in that crater!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; after you clear Level 1] Arrrrgh! You've made porkmeat out of my Psyko-Pigs!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; after you clear Level 6] So you think you're hot, huh, 'toads? Well, it looks like it's going to get hotter down there - much hotter!
- Professor T. Bird: [picked at random; as you start Level 12] Things are lookin' up from here on, 'toads! - and I do mean up!
- Professor T. Bird: [picked at random; as you start the game] Get ready, toads! Down to the surface on the turbo-cables!
- Dark Queen: [picked at random; after you clear Level 11] Welcome to the Revolution, Battlejerks! This is where you lose your heads!