Comedian (2002)

Orny Adams: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Orny Adams : Last year I thought I had lupus, has that happened to you yet? I was on the bus and I saw an ad, "Chances are that somebody on the bus has lupus." I look around, I'm the only one on the bus.

• Orny Adams : See, I'm not a 100% confident about this stuff and that's what kills me. If you're not 100% behind this you can't sell it.

• Orny Adams : [showing his folders of jokes]  If I'm doing a show and being Jewish, I can pull out the Jewish stuff. If I want to do dating, I can do dating.

• Orny Adams : [Pointing to that day's paper]  Read this paragraph to me. Right there, now don't touch it.

  Montreal Waitress : Oh I'm sorry. "Young standup comedian Orny Adams destroys", is that you?

  Montreal Waitress : [Orny shows his ID badge]  Orny Adams, is that your real name? Get out of town. No mom would name their child Orny Adams.

• Orny Adams : What a cocksucker. He's such a cock, he doesn't know the F-he's talking about.

  George Shapiro : Why?

  Orny Adams : I'm going to sit there and let that guy talk to me like that?

  George Shapiro : Wasn't, he didn't say anything bad, he just told you to relax. That's what I've been telling you. Just relax. Enjoy what's been happening.

  Orny Adams : I'm going to start doing to what George does just sit there and smile.

  George Shapiro : There's nothing he said that I would refute.