Mambo Italiano (2003)

Luke Kirby: Angelo Barberini

Quotes 

• Angelo : Being gay and Italian is a fate worse than... actually there is no fate worse than being gay and Italian.

• Angelo : Are you okay?

  Anna : I will be once the Valium kicks in.

• Angelo Barberini : [explaining his history]  After many unsuccessful attempts, they gave up on having a family. Then, after what my mother calls...

  Maria Barberini : [cut to Maria ironing]  What your father did to me while I was sleeping.

  Angelo Barberini : Along came my sister Angela.

• Angelo : Cry, Ma. Cry. Because I'm like Pa, I want to inflict my pain on all of you. It's stronger than my guilt right now. So cry. Cry over your ingrate son, over your dead sister... or your stupid, worthless life.

  Anna : Angelo, that's enough!

  [slaps him in the face] 

  Angelo : And there we have it. The slap. The end to the quintessential Italian melodrama.

• Angelo Barberini : Before I go, there is one last thing I want to do.

  [Pulls an handful of Pina's hair] 

  Angelo Barberini : God help us, it's real!

• Anna : So, how's your writing going?

  Angelo : Never better--I gave up.

• Angelo Barberini : Dear Nino, this is the only way I can think of that I might be able to reach you. So I ask you: Please read this through before closing your mind, before shutting me out forever. Keeping my love for you a secret from the world seemed like a betrayal of that love. Now I know that I don't need anyone else to know about us. We are in love and even if a closet must protect our love it will never contain. I would do anything to make things right again. There is no one if there isn't you, Nino. When you left, everything stopped making sense. I love you, Nino, and I can't bear to be without you. Your Angelo.

• Angelo Barberini : [a customer is in New Glasgow, Canada instead of Glasgow, Scotland]  New Glasgow has waterslides. Those are fun.

• Angelo Barberini : [after asking if he should tell their parents he's gay and she tries to talk him out of it]  So you think this will kill them?

  Anna : Yeah, it will kill them.

  Anna : [suddenly realizes what she's saying]  Tell them!

• Angelo : Unlike me, my sister was quite popular in high school.

  [Anna is seen kissing a guy, then going down on him] 

  Angelo : Who knew all those Icesuckles would pay off one day.

• Angelo Barberini : Look, my folks, they took it relatively well.

  Nino Paventi : Sure.

  Angelo Barberini : Yeah. Just don't eat anything my mother offers you.

  Nino Paventi : They threatened to kill me?

  Angelo Barberini : No, but they are Italian.

• Nino Paventi : You're the classic self-hating Italian.

  Angelo Barberini : No, I'm not!

  Nino Paventi : Italians have contributed greatly. We gave the world Michaelangelo, Fellini, the pizza.

  Angelo Barberini : The Mafia, Mussolini, garlic breath.

  Angelo Barberini : Self-hating Italian.