Photos
Quotes
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Uncle Monty : Now, the children will be helping us extensively with the research in Peru. Do you have any experience with children?
Count Olaf : [in disguise as Stephano] Children are strange and foreign to me. I never really was one. I do know that they are an important part of the ecosystem.
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Uncle Monty : We can have time for chit-chat later. What I need now is the work of a reader, an inventor, and a biter.
Sunny : [in baby talk] My teeth are at your service, sir.
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Uncle Monty : I was wondering if you wouldn't mind milking Petunia for me?
Count Olaf : Petunia? Well- uh- yeah. Sure. I'll take a shot at that.
[Grabbing for snake with stick, unsure]
Count Olaf : You know, they used to call me Old McDonald up at the milking lab. I used to milk these things all day long.
[lifting snake]
Count Olaf : But the little udders- they're hard to locate.
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Klaus Baudelaire : That's the Two-Headed Cobra!
Uncle Monty : Well spotted!
Violet Baudelaire : Is that a he or a she?
Uncle Monty : I have no idea! I didn't think it polite to ask.
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Uncle Monty : My chief assistant, Gustav, took sick and phoned not one hour ago.
Count Olaf : [as Stephano] He'd do anything to be here now.
[cut to Gustav chained to the front of a speeding train and screaming]
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Violet Baudelaire : Uncle Monty, why are we going to Peru?
Uncle Monty : Just this morning I was wondering, "How are we all going to get out of town together?" And I thought, "Peru." They have snakes in Peru, don't they?
Violet Baudelaire : But why are we getting out of town?
[Monty turns back to Violet, suddenly more paternal]
Uncle Monty : Violet, do you know snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them?
[Violet shakes her head no]
Uncle Monty : Few people do. When threatened, a snake will retreat to a place that is quiet, safe, remote. A sanctuary. Where it can feel out of danger. That's why Peru.