- Man-handled guard 1: Feeling anybetter?
- Man-handled guard 2: No, my deformed friend. Like all quantities, horror has it's ultimate. And I am that.
- Man-handled guard 1: Hey! That's from The Brain that wouldn't die, I loved that movie! I never thought I'd find myself relating to Jan-in-the-Pan.
- The Mime-King: [seeing a bandaged-up Dimitrij Volkov] Monsieur Volkov, tell me who did this to you, and I shall exact terrible vengeance!
- Dimitrij Volkov: It was a skiing accident.
- The Mime-King: Oh, I... see.
- Soviet Guard: This is the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, people do not simply vanish without a trace!