For what do you most remember Jessica Simpson — (a) her vocals, on a par with a famished grizzly; (b) her fashion style, which looks like it came from a cheap beer dive somewhere in the boonies; (c) her business acumen, which probably came off the back of a Shreddies box; or (d) her offstage shenanigans and subsequent tabloid appearances? It's no wonder Nick Lachey wondered what he got himself into when he married this human safety hazard. The opening credits said it all: the happy couple settles into what they think will be domestic bliss but turns out to be the biggest train wreck since Paris Hilton spoofed Green Acres. If you find yourself wondering why you still give any hoot, take heart: Nick quit while he was ahead, as did his sister-in-law Ashlee, and they're better off for that. Jessica, who desperately tried to reinvent herself to counter Carrie Underwood, still thinks she can defy the odds to make a comeback. The rest of us know better.
22 Reviews
Love it!
sdj8821 September 2004
Well, I live in Holland no one here really knew Jessica..or Nick for that matter, but...that all changed when this show first aired here. It is just soooo hilarious! Jessica is definitely not the smartest person alive and that just makes it so funny! Some things she said just got me thinking: OMG, how dumb are you?! But I love her though. Underneath that spoiled and dumb exterior is a very sweet and beautiful woman. And Nick is just great and it's amazing to see how patient he is around Jessica. You can totally see how great they are together and how much in love they are. And what a busy schedule they have! Unbelievable! Anyway, this show is hilarious and I totally love it!
Fake Reality TV?
caspian197826 November 2003
We are currently in the middle of the Reality TV revolution! Who would have thought that the Truman Show was actually more realistic now, then it was 5 years ago? Today, America watches shows like Survivor, The Ozzbournes and now Newlyweds. Who is to say what we are watching is real reality television or a charade? Yes, Newlyweds is fun to watch, but like the Ozzbournes before it, the American people were taken for a wild ride that ended in a charade. What we saw was not really the truth but scripted. It is my opinion that Newlyweds is fantasy and not the story of 2 young newlyweds facing the reality of being married. It is in fact the story of 2 young pop-musicians living a fad that will end in divorce. How did I come to this conclusion? Simple. Once the ratings hit rock bottom after 3-4 years, the marriage will be a bust as well.
you can't "not like" newlyweds...
fairyqueen37431 August 2006
Well well well how do I even begin to describe Newlyweds? I love it. When it first aired in 2003/2004 whichever year it was, I watched it from the start. My auntie and I were both MAD over it and used to watch it together all the time. After watching most, if not all, episodes, I got bored of listening to Jessicas corny lines and turned it over. Why? Not because it was boring in itself, because after a while most episodes seemed similar, not in the way that what was happening in each episode was the same, but in that it was usually based on what Jessica did and what Jessica said, and just showed Nicks reactions. However, after not watching it for nearly 2years, just recently re-runs have been shown on MTV at 8:30am and I started to watch it again. And again I'm hooked. Maybe I only started watching it again because they divorced, I don't know really but it seems so much more realistic (in a funny sort of celebrity way) than it ever used to. I've now bought the DVDs for this show and watch it all the time - some of the times they had that are shown on Newlyweds are still hilarious if your watching it for the 100th time. If you've never seen an episode of Newlyweds, you really don't know what your missing out on!
Surprisingly entertaining
tramsbottom16 April 2004
Okay, so they're not the smartest couple on the planet ("Is it Platama-puss or Platypus?" Jessica asks at one point) but it was highly entertaining to watch them bicker and whine over the stupidest things (Jessica must horrify all the feminists out there, but it's nice to know there are still some girlie-girls out there).
Nick whatsisface is unheard of in the UK, but he came off as being the typical boy band type - Make of that what you will.
I'd watch a second series just to hear more of Jessica's pearls of wisdom ("My ears are itching" "You mean your ears are burning, Jess.") and there's a certain fascination value to seeing celebs burp and trip over, even though in principle I hate shows like Big Brother and the rash of humiliation shows like Distraction that have ruined UK TV. If I want to see people tortured I'll go to Iraq thankyouverymuch.
Nick whatsisface is unheard of in the UK, but he came off as being the typical boy band type - Make of that what you will.
I'd watch a second series just to hear more of Jessica's pearls of wisdom ("My ears are itching" "You mean your ears are burning, Jess.") and there's a certain fascination value to seeing celebs burp and trip over, even though in principle I hate shows like Big Brother and the rash of humiliation shows like Distraction that have ruined UK TV. If I want to see people tortured I'll go to Iraq thankyouverymuch.
Excellent
ShamelessAngel24 March 2006
As you can tell by my name I am a huge Jessica Simpson fan and as far as I'm concerned she can do no wrong, so when i heard she was doing her own reality show i was so excited.
Jessica and Nick Lachey (although unfortunately no longer together) are a perfect couple and they really play on the 'cute couple thing' Jessica also plays the part of 'ditzy blonde' really well, although she isn't really that stupid when you look at how successful shes been.
The series starts with footage of their wedding day, then we move in to their home life and watch them fit in to married life. We witness arguments, kissing and joking together. The series moves on and we meet both their families including Jess's sister Ashlee (also has her own reality TV show). Last series show Jess and Daisy May (her dog Nick bought her for her birthday) moving down south to play the part of Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazzard movie.
I would definitely recommend this box set to any one especially Jessica Simpson fans ... its a must have!!!
Jessica and Nick Lachey (although unfortunately no longer together) are a perfect couple and they really play on the 'cute couple thing' Jessica also plays the part of 'ditzy blonde' really well, although she isn't really that stupid when you look at how successful shes been.
The series starts with footage of their wedding day, then we move in to their home life and watch them fit in to married life. We witness arguments, kissing and joking together. The series moves on and we meet both their families including Jess's sister Ashlee (also has her own reality TV show). Last series show Jess and Daisy May (her dog Nick bought her for her birthday) moving down south to play the part of Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazzard movie.
I would definitely recommend this box set to any one especially Jessica Simpson fans ... its a must have!!!
Hilarious
mcfinley21 October 2003
I've just seen the show and I thought it was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Nick and Jessica are so immature and affected, it's like watching two children play house, but they can't go home after recess. Seriously, this show is like watching God restore the balance in the world, and the two newlyweds are in purgatory for their undeserved pop status--they were so made for each other.
Of all the reality TV shows, at least this one is funny and amusing.
MovieAddict201628 August 2005
I'm not a big fan of reality TV (if you've read any of my reviews for television shows you'll know this already!). I had never seen any episodes of "Newlyweds," nor did I care to, but while staying in a hotel in London, MTV was playing a marathon and I happened upon one of the episodes - probably the most (in)famous, the one where Jessica Simpson eats the tuna and asks if it's made out of chicken.
I didn't know the story behind the show then - how Joe Simpson, the father, had persuaded MTV to finance the show after Jessica's albums stopped selling, and how after the popularity of the show increased, her albums began to fly off the shelves. Joe Simpson is a savvy businessman and he's always seemed to make the best out of the worst for his two daughters - he's the brains behind everything and he rarely receives any credit.
The show itself is kind of lame but nevertheless amusing and entertaining - newlyweds Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (of the doomed boy band 98 Degrees) get married and the show follows their daily routines at home - their ups, downs, and romantic moments.
The real charm of the show is Jessica Simpson. I don't listen to her music and I had only heard her name mentioned a few times, but it seems now I can't go anywhere without seeing her face.
I think she's naturally cuter than Britney Spears and has a nicer attitude - she's ditzy but honest, spoiled but funny in spite of (or rather because of) her pampered lifestyle. A few of her quotes had me laughing - like when she hires a cook to make a dinner for Valentine's Day, then tells Nick, "I was cooking all day." I can see why people would hate this, but as far as reality "entertainment" goes, at least "Newlyweds" is just that: entertaining. It's like one of those guilty pleasures - something so appalling you just can't stop watching.
I didn't know the story behind the show then - how Joe Simpson, the father, had persuaded MTV to finance the show after Jessica's albums stopped selling, and how after the popularity of the show increased, her albums began to fly off the shelves. Joe Simpson is a savvy businessman and he's always seemed to make the best out of the worst for his two daughters - he's the brains behind everything and he rarely receives any credit.
The show itself is kind of lame but nevertheless amusing and entertaining - newlyweds Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (of the doomed boy band 98 Degrees) get married and the show follows their daily routines at home - their ups, downs, and romantic moments.
The real charm of the show is Jessica Simpson. I don't listen to her music and I had only heard her name mentioned a few times, but it seems now I can't go anywhere without seeing her face.
I think she's naturally cuter than Britney Spears and has a nicer attitude - she's ditzy but honest, spoiled but funny in spite of (or rather because of) her pampered lifestyle. A few of her quotes had me laughing - like when she hires a cook to make a dinner for Valentine's Day, then tells Nick, "I was cooking all day." I can see why people would hate this, but as far as reality "entertainment" goes, at least "Newlyweds" is just that: entertaining. It's like one of those guilty pleasures - something so appalling you just can't stop watching.
"That is so punk rock..."
dans_la_lune20 December 2004
One of the guys from Blink-182, Mark or Biff or something, once said that listening to pop music was punk because everyone hates it. He was probably referring to his own crowd, because someone is obviously buying pop records. Nevertheless, he raises an interesting point.
Our novels and films are filled with the neurotic, intelligent observations of the socially inept, as these protagonists struggle to accomplish the most basic functions of everyday life. {Talking to someone at a bar, having fun over the holidays}.
Jessica, on the other hand, displays many social behaviors, has a healthy bodyweight, loves the media, and kisses people on the lips by way of greeting. She is the opposite of the massively popular Zellweger/Bridget Jones character type, and still turns a brisk business in spite of it.
Her 500-word vocabulary is probably false. John Wayne had that one figured out in the forties.
Our novels and films are filled with the neurotic, intelligent observations of the socially inept, as these protagonists struggle to accomplish the most basic functions of everyday life. {Talking to someone at a bar, having fun over the holidays}.
Jessica, on the other hand, displays many social behaviors, has a healthy bodyweight, loves the media, and kisses people on the lips by way of greeting. She is the opposite of the massively popular Zellweger/Bridget Jones character type, and still turns a brisk business in spite of it.
Her 500-word vocabulary is probably false. John Wayne had that one figured out in the forties.
Real life, with some extra cash
morgalise16 November 2003
I must admit that Newlyweds is my new guilty pleasure. I've read other's comments and I will admit that the things Jessica says sometimes are ditzy, but think of it this way: Its reality tv. They film these people all day long for weeks and then have to edit all that footage down to make a television show. Its not like we're watching The Truman Show and everything is in real time. They edit and select which clips they are going to show. Jessica probably isn't even all that stupid, they just chose to show her slow moments. Admit it, you've said something out loud before that you wish you could take back; lucky for you, it won't be shown on television.
I think that these two people are on a great start to a happily ever after. They respect and love one another. They may get on each other's nerves every once and a while, but it is their first year of marriage. They're learning to adjust to living and being with each other 24/7. And sure they're rich, they're celebrities! What else would you expect?
I, personally, think this is a great show. I am looking forward to the second season. I'm also positive that Nick and Jessica will be together longer than any show could possibly be.
I think that these two people are on a great start to a happily ever after. They respect and love one another. They may get on each other's nerves every once and a while, but it is their first year of marriage. They're learning to adjust to living and being with each other 24/7. And sure they're rich, they're celebrities! What else would you expect?
I, personally, think this is a great show. I am looking forward to the second season. I'm also positive that Nick and Jessica will be together longer than any show could possibly be.
They were lovely
tabeth10 January 2006
I only started watching Newlyweds in Decembeer 2005 and I've just become hooked. It's a shame Jessica and Nick split, I thought they made a lovely couple. I do think Jessica would have wanted a bit more affection than her husband showed. I really felt for her when she had to watch her husband dancing with other girls (it must be hard for any woman) and I don't feel Nick was very reassuring. The funniest bit was the episode where they were playing a game with a group of friends and one of them thought African was a language and Nick pointed out that Africa was a country, but the people don't speak African!! Very funny. Interestingly, Jess seems to buy things without looking at price tags, and then complain about it later. Like the time she bought lingerie for $628! I'm such a romantic and I keep thinking they'll end up together again.
Perfect Show!
charlieque9910 November 2003
Warning: Spoilers
**SPOILERS MAY BE AHEAD.
"THE NEWLYWEDS" is my new favorite show. I've read other viewers' opinions on this site. I'm disappointed that other people don't like the show as much as I do. Jessica Simpson is a beautiful, sexy Barbie-doll who is just lovely to look at. I admit that some of the things that she says and does is naive, but that's her charm. Other people think that Jessica is dumb, whiny, and spoiled. Jessica is NOT dumb, but only naive like a little girl. I have to agree with the other people, Jessica is a little whiny and spoiled. Alot of people think she can't sing, but she can. She sings like an angelic songbird. She's very talented. And sexy. Did I mention "sexy" already?
Her husband, Nick, is funny as the straightman. Nick shakes his head in confusion whenever Jessica says something like, "Is "CHICKEN OF THE SEA" chicken or tuna?". Jessica does alot of things that may make her look dumb. One example, Jessica tried opening her hotel room door with the electronic key card, but it wouldn't open. She then tries to open the rest of the nearby hotel room doors down the hall, they wouldn't open either. Jessica then discovers that she is on the wrong floor. Also, her hotel room number is on the electronic key card. I know what you're you're thinking. DUMB, right? No, just naive. It's a funny moment. It's cute.
I don't understand why Nick doesn't spend money on certain things like movers to move his furniture into his house. Instead, Nick and his brother struggle to move the furniture in his house himself. He certainly has the money to pay someone to do the moving for him. I can understand him wanting to save a few bucks, he should spend some money. He deserves to splurge a little.
I've heard the news that Jessica Simpson is may be getting the role in the remake feature film, "I DREAM OF JEANNIE" and getting her own sitcom (situation comedy) on ABC due to the success of "NEWLYWEDS". Congratulations to her! She deserves it.
This is a perfect show. I hope other people will give it a chance and love them as much as I do. "NEWLYWEDS" is just pure, fun entertainment. I can't wait for the second season.
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!
"THE NEWLYWEDS" is my new favorite show. I've read other viewers' opinions on this site. I'm disappointed that other people don't like the show as much as I do. Jessica Simpson is a beautiful, sexy Barbie-doll who is just lovely to look at. I admit that some of the things that she says and does is naive, but that's her charm. Other people think that Jessica is dumb, whiny, and spoiled. Jessica is NOT dumb, but only naive like a little girl. I have to agree with the other people, Jessica is a little whiny and spoiled. Alot of people think she can't sing, but she can. She sings like an angelic songbird. She's very talented. And sexy. Did I mention "sexy" already?
Her husband, Nick, is funny as the straightman. Nick shakes his head in confusion whenever Jessica says something like, "Is "CHICKEN OF THE SEA" chicken or tuna?". Jessica does alot of things that may make her look dumb. One example, Jessica tried opening her hotel room door with the electronic key card, but it wouldn't open. She then tries to open the rest of the nearby hotel room doors down the hall, they wouldn't open either. Jessica then discovers that she is on the wrong floor. Also, her hotel room number is on the electronic key card. I know what you're you're thinking. DUMB, right? No, just naive. It's a funny moment. It's cute.
I don't understand why Nick doesn't spend money on certain things like movers to move his furniture into his house. Instead, Nick and his brother struggle to move the furniture in his house himself. He certainly has the money to pay someone to do the moving for him. I can understand him wanting to save a few bucks, he should spend some money. He deserves to splurge a little.
I've heard the news that Jessica Simpson is may be getting the role in the remake feature film, "I DREAM OF JEANNIE" and getting her own sitcom (situation comedy) on ABC due to the success of "NEWLYWEDS". Congratulations to her! She deserves it.
This is a perfect show. I hope other people will give it a chance and love them as much as I do. "NEWLYWEDS" is just pure, fun entertainment. I can't wait for the second season.
I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!
Very...amusing.
LordoftheReins29 December 2003
Personally, I love the show. Nick and Jessica are an adorable couple, and, unlike many relationships, you can tell they love each other. The show itself is not one of the best, but with Jessica's big mouth, piggish-manners, and Nick's down-to-earth attitude, they keep the show entertaining, and it's definitely a show I'll watch as long as it's on the air.
decline of civilization
gaystereotype31 October 2003
While MTV deserves low marks for selling out with salacious material in many of their programs, this could be the worst show they've ever put on. Whereas The Real World will at least have a couple of interesting cast members, this pair is just hideously immature and stupid. It's incredible when people don't realize how much they're embarrassing themselves. That Jessica makes Anna Nicole look like Simone de Beauvoir.
A Weak Premise in a World of Weak Premises
sassy9578 April 2004
*Snore.*
It bugs me to see these half-wits with so much success and money. MTV, as well as the rest of the television and film industry, needs to shape up. Nobody can come up with a unique and groundbreaking concept any more. It's all reality shows, sequels, and remakes. MTV has successfully put on the worst Super Bowl show ever, and has shown me how sleazy and worthless young adults can be. Real World has just become a collection of promiscuous, alcoholic kids. Real World/Road Rules challenge is the most worn out show I have ever seen. "Reality" shows need to be done with. MTV execs need to be shot.
Newlyweds is a Saturday afternoon kind of show. There are a million better things to do than sit around and watch dumb rich kids make more money. It's like watching chimps play house.
It bugs me to see these half-wits with so much success and money. MTV, as well as the rest of the television and film industry, needs to shape up. Nobody can come up with a unique and groundbreaking concept any more. It's all reality shows, sequels, and remakes. MTV has successfully put on the worst Super Bowl show ever, and has shown me how sleazy and worthless young adults can be. Real World has just become a collection of promiscuous, alcoholic kids. Real World/Road Rules challenge is the most worn out show I have ever seen. "Reality" shows need to be done with. MTV execs need to be shot.
Newlyweds is a Saturday afternoon kind of show. There are a million better things to do than sit around and watch dumb rich kids make more money. It's like watching chimps play house.
MR and MISS UNDERSTOOD!!
justscot30 June 2004
Nick and Jessica have a great thing going. Off camera..On camera. Everyone loves an attraction. They take care of each other, they need each other. Playing well off each other is what they do best. In this world of stress,commitments and uncertainty. Why grow up? Get the job done, with the most fun possible, and make sure your best friend and lover has your back! Trust and Friendship with a little hanky-panky by two people that were models for there own wedding cake. Perfect couple.....In Hollywood...Cut..Print,clone baby can't be far behind? PS. the only people that want pretty people to fail, is ugly people. I love to watch the show. My hope is that they keep it real. Try ,as much, not to script the words. Taking them on location is fine. Push..do not shove. The show will move all by it's self. I Can't wait to see Jess as Daisy Duke! Let's put Nick in the movie! Cool!
Newlyweirds: Bimbo and Bozo
kevcom20 February 2005
Only MTV. Find the prettiest two idiots on the face of the earth and let them make fools of themselves in front of millions of teenagers who desperately need get away from the television set and find a life of their own. Thank god they won't be newlyweds forever, and MTV will ultimately have to cancel the show. Unless (god forbid) they just re-title it to something like "Married, without brains". It sure will be interesting to see where these two end up a few years from now. Probably behind bars or on drugs, penny-less, and wishing they had just died of embarrassment. And if these two ever have children, OMG! Just imagine having to try and explain why mommy and daddy where so stupid to junior. This show makes "The Anna Nicole Show" look like high art.
How Stupid Can Ya Get!?!
newnoir19 October 2003
Man, Jessica Simpson has GOT to be the dumbest bubble head on the planet. This TV reality show about two spoiled, rich brats who have no real talents other than looking good and making mediocre bubblegum pop music is mindless fun though.
Jessica Simpson is the ultimate spoiled rich girl brat. And man, is she DUMB! The episodes where she thinks Chicken of the Sea tuna is made of chicken or where she things buffalo wings are made of buffalo. You get the idea. This gal is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. She's a pretty, spoiled little rich girl who's been waited on hand and foot her whole life and can't even do basic household chores!
Nick will dump Jessica in a few short years if he knows what's good for him. Sure she's hot, but can you imagine spending the REST OF YOUR LIFE with this woman? I can't either. These two no talents had better save their money too, cos their careers and fifteen minutes of fame were over about fifteen minutes ago.
But then again, if the rest of us had that much money from a young age, wouldn't most of us be spoiled too? This show proves all our worst suspicions about life are true. Nice guys finish last, women really do love jerks, pretty people come out on top in life, and obscenely rich people sleep very well at night. Happy viewing!
Jessica Simpson is the ultimate spoiled rich girl brat. And man, is she DUMB! The episodes where she thinks Chicken of the Sea tuna is made of chicken or where she things buffalo wings are made of buffalo. You get the idea. This gal is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. She's a pretty, spoiled little rich girl who's been waited on hand and foot her whole life and can't even do basic household chores!
Nick will dump Jessica in a few short years if he knows what's good for him. Sure she's hot, but can you imagine spending the REST OF YOUR LIFE with this woman? I can't either. These two no talents had better save their money too, cos their careers and fifteen minutes of fame were over about fifteen minutes ago.
But then again, if the rest of us had that much money from a young age, wouldn't most of us be spoiled too? This show proves all our worst suspicions about life are true. Nice guys finish last, women really do love jerks, pretty people come out on top in life, and obscenely rich people sleep very well at night. Happy viewing!
WORST SHOW EVER
res1e8mb18 October 2003
This show just sucks, it just shows what MTV dose to television. Who cares about what to rich snobs do in there lives?! All this shows is that these two no talent people are just spoiled with there wealth. If you put them in a smaller house they would be lost. i hope they never lose there money because THEY WILL NEVER make it in the real life. Thats why this is the WORST SHOW EVER!!!!!!!!!!
Married life is not perfect.
mack31751 November 2003
Even if your famous. Why Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey would ever agree to have a reality show on there life. But it kinda shows that Jessica is beautiful and sweet, but shows she can be whinny and complain a lot. And Nick can prince charming most of of it, but it shows he can be irritably and brash for the other part. Will they stay together? Only time will tell. Will this show last? Probably not long enough. But it really shows, that even famous married people have there up and downs like everybody else.
Best series ever!
bridjlove_u25 October 2004
Most people think that Jessica Simpson is dumb! I can understand ur point of view! But she's not! My friends like to compare Jess to me! But we're not dumb, it's just that we're young, and we haven't learned everything yet! We are "naive"! But we are all like that! Oh yess! Even YOU! But the difference between me and you (or Jess and you) is that we're not afraid of saying what we think! For most of the "stupid" thing she said, you probably laughed at it, but when u think about it, you we're thinking just like her, but because society forces you to "be" intelligent, you shut your mouth and you stay innocent, you don't learn anything! But we do! Anyways! The show Newlyweds is really cool :) I can't wait for Christmas to receive the DVD of the first season! Oh yeah! I don't watch TV, but this show, i can watch it again and again! It makes me smile! :) Nick and Jess are so cuuute :)
The Best reality show.
UncleJohnny6624 January 2005
I began watching the Newlyweds in April of 2004. I love it now, this is the show that you watch after a hard day of work. You come in and sit and listen to them argue about what animals do what, and if chicken of the sea is actually chicken or not. I bet Nick sometimes wonders why he married her.She's a pretty slow person. But all in all it's a pretty funny show, it beats that idiot show Osbornes. I hope it lasts for a good while. I think her sister is right down A #1 UGLY person, how ever did Joe and Tina give birth to such an UGLY girl. But back to the topic the show is classic. I truly honestly like the show Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica.
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