- Alisa: I need you to show your respect today, whatever it takes.
- Judith: Respect? I never loved your father. What sort of respect could you possibly expect from me?
- Alisa: I know you loved him.
- Judith: [laughs] Divorcing him and taking half his money was the best thing that ever happened to me. His dying was the second.
- Julia: I'm not like you, Mom. I won't sleep around with every guy that offers to buy me dinner or lets me snort some cocaine.
- Krystal: [reciting a poem she wrote to her dead husband] Roses are red, violets are blue. These lilies are now dead and so are you.
- Mandy: The bakery completely fucked up your order.
- Alisa: What?
- Mandy: Don't ask, I was too busy yelling at that asshole to listen to what he was saying.
- Alisa: Oh shit, shit. What am I going to do?
- Mandy: They should be here in half an hour with a similar order. I threatened to go over and kick some ass if I wasn't happy.
- Mandy: I better hear from you tomorrow.
- Delivery Guy: I'll call you first thing.
- Mandy: I'll hunt you down and burn your bakery if you don't.