- Jameson Burkright: Mimi told me I looked like a young Steve McQueen.
- Debbie Sue Ashanti-Melendez: Yeah, well, Mimi told me I look like a cross between Jodie Foster and Meryl Streep. Mimi?
- Mimi Driver: Have you ever thought about acting?
- Stagehand: I'm just a stagehand.
- Mimi Driver: Yeah, but you look like a cross between Jodie Foster and Meryl Streep.
- Debbie Sue Ashanti-Melendez: I'm gonna kick that two-timing bitch's ass.
- Jameson Burkright: Well, save one of those asses for me, Debbie Sue.
- Jameson Burkright: Welcome to The Wrong Coast. I'm Joozball Bockrit.
- Debbie Sue Ashanti-Melendez: No, your name is Jameson Burkright.
- Jameson Burkright: Well, the teleprompter says my name is Joozball Bockrit.
- Debbie Sue Ashanti-Melendez: It doesn't matter what the teleprompter says, your birth certificate says your name is Jameson Burkright. And I'm Doobie-Saw Awati-Mamapusa.
- Debbie Sue Ashanti-Melendez: That was fun, I had fun, did you have fun?
- Jameson Burkright: They had to fuse my spine!
- Jameson Burkright: Debbie-sue, are you sure your not addicted?
- Debbie Sue Ashanti-Melendez: Of course not. I would just cheat or lie in order to forfil my craving. But its not like I'm addicted.